"I just saw the Facebook update on people who just changed their profile pictures and i saw yours.. Well, we r not that close and i am not good at holding back but ur new profile pix is OFF THE CHAIN.........seriously, ITS HOLLYWOOD HOTTT. hope u not offended tho".......Yes, this was an inbox message i sent a girl who had uploaded a really nice profile picture. All i wanted to say was "YOU LOOK PRETTY in your pix". Even though she responded nicely. I went through so much trouble just trying to say those words.
SO WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR GUYS TO GIVE GENUINE COMPLIMENTS TO LADIES THESE DAYS? Well, welcome to yet another discussion :))
Women long for compliments, however a lot of women think a guy who gives them a compliment is a pervert or has an ulterior motive which might make her react inappropriately towards him. In my opinion, these days women are missing out on being appreciated and men are missing out on being able to voice their appreciation towards a woman.
Some ladies take compliments the opposite way which deters men from even wanting to compliment on the way they look. Tell her that her outfit is great, she responds "What! this old dress". Tell her she looks good, she responds "You mean I look fat, don't I". Say she looks pretty with her new hairstyle, she responds "So i looked ugly in the old one, right". A lot of the time, we feel better not saying anything at all.
Men live in terror of having their heads bitten off for articulating what they are immediately thinking about a woman's outlook, even in a polite way. It doesn't take an hour to notice if a lady got on some nice looking shoes or if her dress is cute, but it takes more than an hour to decide if you want to let her know or if you rather keep it to yourself for fear of being 'criminalized'.
Ironically, sexism is really destructive. That rude comment about a lady's looks can undermine her confidence and do a lot of damage to her self-esteem. From the guys point of view, it doesn't make sense to be insulted for being nice, rather opt for getting insulted for being rude. At least that plays out fairly. Even though it's NOT right, you can't help admit that they have a point :(
I believe every man should learn to say sweet things to a woman, especially when it comes to commenting on how they look because women take their time to look like what they look. Why should it be difficult to smile and tell a woman "your dress is awesome" and move on. Believe me, that will be the highlight of her day. A "thank you" with a return smile from the lady would even be better. And that's how its supposed to be.
Oh yeah, one more thing, i couldn't help notice that a lot of ladies now reply "I KNOW" when one gives them a good remark. You might not notice, but that is the rudest response you can ever give for a compliment, so please deter from that. At least I know my boys Kofi and Nana are still mad from hearing those words. haha
Thanks for reading y'all.......One Love
