The GYM xperience

So a little Chinese girl who comes for English lectures in my dormitory, saw me bare-chested on the floor n said "why are you so emaciated?" Listen, do you have any idea how hard it is for Chinese person to speak English fluently? let alone a little girl? For her to use such a big word got me angrier. I was just hating because I didn't know what it meant. I said "WHAT?” She then said "you are slim", then I said "why didn't you say that before?". She shrugged and walked off. "What a cocky little girl", I thought. To be real, I was just hating. I had like 10 years on her, I'm from an English speaking country, and she's now studying English, how did she say a word I'd never heard pissed me off? For those of you who don’t know what it means too, I took the liberty to look it up in the dictionary for you and this is what came out "Thin or haggard, especially from hunger or disease". This was enough motivation for me to go look for a gym. Luckily enough, there was a cheap one right across the street where I lived. Now I can’t wait to get back in shape and tell that big-mouthed-little-girl to go jump off a bridge and kill herself. Disclaimer: kidding!

Until recently, I had forgotten how funny being at the gym was. In all gyms across the world, these same incidents happen, or maybe its just the gyms I work out in. But regardless, I just thought I should let y'all in on my "gym experiences". Some of you gym-heads might have experienced this, if you haven't, don't worry, that's what I am here for. Sit Back, Relax; grab yourself a chilled coke and some Pringles. Here we go !!

You know when people lift heavy weights, especially in a gym, they make weird noises ? Thats normal in any workout especially when your muscles get tired and you are almost finishing your reps. So thats cool. Problem is, NOT ALL NOISES ARE COOL. I swear to God this one big, macho Chinese dude makes me feel uncomfortable anytime I am in the gym. His noises are so loud and sexually violating in every way possible. I gave him a name; "Intercourse", Inter-C for short. Anytime he walks into the gym, I give my boy Ershad a look like "Yo, Inter-C is about to defile us man", and we just put our headphones on loud. The saddest thing is, he likes to socialize while in the gym which I personally dislike. "How the hell are you gonna make all those sexual noises and want to get friendly and shakes hands afterwards?" I haven't told him that though. How can I, this is a 6'5 muscular Chinese dude. Do you have any idea what that means.... it means he is "BRUCE LEE, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and HULK HOGAN put into one. You damn right I'm not messing with him, and my boy Ershad already told me he is gonna leave my black ass behind if I mess around and piss the dude off. 

Let me talk about the skinny dudes for a second. In any gym, there are usually lots of mirrors around so one can look at themselves while working out. Have you noticed its always the skinny dudes who stand in front of the mirror with their shirts off flexing their lean-ass muscles? They do 10 push-ups, stand up and look into the mirror like the muscles are going to appear magically. Bad thing is, some of these gym mirrors kind of magnifies your image a bit so its deceptive sometimes. I just had to be real with one dude I became friends with, and told him "Yo my man, put on a suit, a fur coat and a leather jacket man, cos your body ain't changed brother". My bad

Ca you really blame them ? The big muscular guys are to blame. How will you feel if some dude comes to lift 100 kg of weight, causes a scene and makes everyone look at him in admiration, while you struggle with 20 and 30 kg weights? That embarrassing, isn’t it? Of course you would wanna get ripped fast. No wonder the little dudes stare at the mirror all the time trying to find a grain of muscle. But unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

Some dudes are in the gym 7 days a week, 365 days a year and still gain no muscle. That's because it takes a lot more than gym-time to build up. Kishun, this dude I met at my gym, literally does everything right at the gym. He uses the equipment correctly, he is there for the right amount of time..etc. Surprisingly, I have gained more muscle in 1 month than he has in several. On my way out of the gym one day beaming with smiles, I politely said to him while he was working out "Kishun, put that weight down man, you don't need metals, you need food bro".

Now my most important point. Usually its all men at the gym so people always wanna walk around in their towels after they take the shower at the gym. Thing is, some people take it another level; walking around the gym with just their draws on. Some dude came right out of the shower to the entrance door of the gym and called out his friend with his "stuff" all swinging. "Dude, how the heck u expect us to concentrate and lift these heavy ass metals while u walking around with just some dirty ass boxers and your stuff piercing all through it. Come on. This is a GYM not a PUBLIC POOL, get back inside and put some pants on man" ......of course he was my friend, if not, I would be stitched up in the hospital by now.

Now a piece of advice to you gym heads. Please do not advice anybody at the gym if you don't "look right". When you notice someone lifting weights wrongly, make sure you are more muscular than the person before you walk up to offer him advice on what to do. I know it sucks but that is the reality. The moment you start talking, all he thinks is "Dude, would you get your skinny ass out of my face, if you were such an expert, how come my thump is bigger than your arms. Obviously your advice isn't working for you".

With that being said, I will urge all you guys and girls to pick up the habit of working out or exercising. Its healthy, makes you look good....and as the saying goes "When you look good, you feel good"...and it also makes you confident. Moreover, in my personal opinion, a man who takes care of his body; works out PROPERLY and is dedicated to it, has LOTS of discipline. It takes a lot of balls to go hard at the gym, and not a lot of people can keep up. 

Thanks for reading y’all………👊 !!

If I can do this one day, I know I am good. Might mess around and tear up my waste muscles though

My boy Ershad getting his work in

Its not a game people......Dedication !!

Work together, Play together

One of the dudes who always workout but no muscle. You kinda feel bad for them, don't u ?

Getting it in at the gym.......no kidding.

Getting my protein game on. Yogurt, ya dig ? Pardon the chips. 

Another one huh !! love it



In the changing room at Jack and Jones, I just thought I'd take a pix. I am getting there...slowly



Not just me, my boys ripped too...Leroy and Sly Mo

CHRONICLES OF CHINA pt 2 # the Lifestyle

It’s being almost 2 weeks since I’ve being in China and nobody has asked me for weed yet. Thank God for that J. Hopefully it never happens. I was tired of people asking me for that crap in Sweden. I had promised to smack the face of the next person who did. Then maybe, I will be writing this post from jail. Haha. Hmm, that will be an interesting post, wouldn’t it? I am not soft, but definitely not the jail type either. First of all, I have a small butt-hole. That’s all I think about, If you guys know what I mean. 
COME ON, AGAIN?? This is the third time I have told these Vietnamese dudes in the opposite room to keep their music down. Guess what artist they are playing right at this moment: CHER. Really guys? really? What is today..1975? Who plays Cher in 2011? Turn that mess down and upgrade guys” I am gonna tell them that. Hold on !! ...I’m back J. They turned it down. Now where were we!

When I got to Beijing, this lady came up to me and offered to help me find the gate to my next flight to Chengdu. After she did, she told me straight forward “Can you give me some money for my service”. Yes she was Chinese. I had some Swedish Kronor, so I gave her 200 from my wallet. She said “Give me the 500 I just saw in your wallet”. I said “HUH, you want 500kr for showing me a gate?" Luckily she had a phone so I told her to call my friend in Chengdu and tell him my flight had changed so he should leave home early, and after, I gave her the 500 kr. I couldn’t spend that currency in China anyway. That wasn’t what pissed me off. This did; she said “I will give you my number so when you get to Chengdu, you can call me and we will become friends”. I said “Hey Lady, Are you here for business or pleasure ? If its pleasure and friendship you want, give me my damn 500 back, then we can start this relationship over”. Who the hell takes all your money for some cheap service, acts like its all love and opts for friendship after? Man, this lady done pissed me off.

You know China has around 1.4 billion population. I have heard lots of reasons why they are so many. Some say, they anticipated world war III, hence they decided to have lots of children to fill up their army, others say differently. In my opinion. I think they are so many of them because old Chinese people refuse to pass away. There is a big basketball place, a football and a track field area just near my dormitory and school. I love basketball so I am always there when I get free time. I see really old people, I’m talking 90, 100, 120 year old men running tracks, playing basketball, pingpong, doing stretches..etc. things I can barely do and I’m only 20 + years . I saw a 100 year old man running track and field in clutches while his wife was speeding next to him in her wheelchair. I said “Come on y’all, that’s just unfair, stingy and selfish”. They say one has to die for one to live. I bet the babies on the other side waiting to come in are mad as hell, hoping these old folks get knocked off their wheelchairs. To be honest I thought of knocking some off  myself. Can you believe one old lady came to stand right in my face and raised her leg to the top of her head? I swear this ain’t no joke.. and she was looking directly at me thinking “I bet you can’t do this young man” Well, I can't old lady, but I bet I can crack chicken bones with my teeth. Now try that and see if you don't swallow all your teeth in your mouth. I couldn’t even get mad at her because honestly, I couldn't stretch like that. I will mess around and tear all my thigh muscles down if I tried.

In a new country, It usually takes some time for everyone to get adjusted and start feeling at home. There is always that transition, that feeling like “OMG, what I am doing here, why did I come here?” How long it takes depends on the individual. Mine took a day or two. Now my dormitory mates call me the “MAJOR OF CHENGDU” I told them to suspend that title for 6 months, after I start to speak some Chinese, I will be major for real. Man I like this place, I like everything about it, well except the English L. China has two sides, the ghetto and the flashy, just like any other place. You can see that China is a country in serious transition: they are milestones ahead of a lot of countries and also backwards like most poor countries. In a lot of countries, ghettos are secluded from the cities, but in china u might see a state-of-the-art building and right next to it, a torn up building. The old structures are all being torn down to make room for new structures, even though there are still a lot of old ones around. Since there is a ‘poor’ side, the people are really nice. From experience, I believe people from across the world who cherish human relations as a key to making a society are from underdeveloped, developing, or early developed countries. You can be in a room with 500 Chinese and still feel 'comfortable'. As an African, the settings and culture is almost the same so the blend-in is easy and effortless. I made more friends in 3 days than I have made in years. Now I got a schedule on places to visit since each of them want to show me something new.  AWESOME, right? The Chinese are intrigued by my ‘color’. Of course they’ve seen black people on TV, or in person and know how we look like. But they want to look up-close, they really like to stare which I am not bothered by; most of them want to know why my hair is different from all other races. A couple of people have asked me “Why is your palm our color, and your skin, your color?” meaning why is my palm 'white' and my skin 'black'. I told one girl “I don’t know, but I can give you my number, when you find out, please let me know”...and yes she actually did call and said she hadn’t found out yet and still looking. HOW COOL IS THAT? J

Yes, people bargain in China y’all. I didn’t know that till I went to buy a mirror from the store. She said “Its 90 RMB”. Just when I had left, she called me back saying “but u can give me 70 RMB for it” so I did. That was a happy day because I realized I had to re-engineer my bargaining skills since its been quite a while since I used it. Now I walk around with a calculator in my bag; that’s for people who can’t speak English. They type in their price and I type in mine, then bargaining goes on, and I LOVE IT. In this computer store, the lady types in “4000”, then I typed “1500”. I knew that would never work but I just wanted to see the look on her face. She laughed really hard and told the other shop keeper to come see what I had wanted to pay for a new computer. They said something in Chinese and laughed, I bet they said “This is a cheap ass black dude right here? Where did he come from? If somebody robbed him, they wouldn’t get a dime, they would just be practicing”. Well, that’s not too far from the truth.

I just came back from saying my Fajr prayer on the 6^th floor, I am on the fourth. Unfortunately, I stuck my key in the wrong door again. This has to stop. I am in room 429; Last room on the fourth floor. I have friends on all floors so for some reason I always mistaken other floors for mine when I walk straight to the last rooms and stick my key in. When it doesn’t fit, I look up and realize I’m either on the 5^th- 529, 6^th-626 or 7^th floor-729. Funny thing, there are cameras all over the floor. I believe those people behind the cameras have noticed me and have probably labeled me as the thief in the dormitory. That's a bad label to be given in barely 2 weeks. This is not good. I've got to be more careful. I need your prayers.

I think I will bring you a part 3 of the China chronicles, still loads of stuff to say. I hope y’all enjoy this for now and yeah, more pictures are on their way Assal Del Rio. Sorry guys, Assal is a friend bugging me with pictures. I hooked y’all up with a few pics, and a little video trailer.

Hope you enjoyed reading……Peaceeee ✌ !!

 

At the hospital getting my physical examination

Cute Undergraduate student in her Freshmen Uniform 

A view of the library in the new campus. The building is huge. The inside is crazzzzzyyy



This dude was sleeping in the library y'all. There were a lot of them. Get your ass up boy, success aint easy. haha

This is where I will be doing my research, for the SCHOOL OF ELECTRONIC ENGINEERING. yessirrrr

Tell me the man in white isn't about 500 years old :)

These guys are 80+ years old. Look what they doing just to deceive death. haha

He was the oldest, probably a 100 yrs old. He doesn't look it, does he?

The mosque downtown. Its a lot of Muslims in China, I was just as surprised. Jummah was great 

Chinese Muslim couple I met. Cute isn't it. Hopefully that would be me and my wife in 60 more years. haha

View of the mosque

Opening Ceremony with Dawn and Jerry

Group picture time, after the opening ceremony

International student power: South Africa/India, Ghana, Indonesia, Poland. Who was the american looking at. Dude, the camera is this way. 

Myself, Sark and Nii with a bunch of Sudanese International students !!

My boys Liang and Zhang, they have helped me settle in pretty well. Thanx guys.

I think this was a school rock band. Not sure tho. just saw them play, pretty decent stuff.

Met the man behind me in a bus. He said he was honored because I was the first foreigner he had ever spoken to. I was even more honored. Thank you sir

You know I had to bring my basketball to the limelight. All hail the KING

Thats Jeffrey y'all. We became friends this day on the court. He is got mad skills.

The army students marching behind. I had a MILK TEA in my hand. Great stuff

CHRONICLES OF CHINA pt 1 #the Journey !!

I hope I can post part 2 soon. With that many people in China, its only right that I have a lot of stuff to write about. :))

You see when you take a flight and just when its about to move, directions are given on a screen on how to use the air masks and emergency exits and stuff ? Good. So we get on the flight, this Swedish lady comes to stand in the center of the airplane and starts using sign language to demonstrate. Wait !! “which airline ticket did I buy? Handicap or Death people ?“ I thought to myself. Just when I did, instructions started to come from the pilot. Now my thoughts changed to “What kind of ghetto-ass “Soul Plane” airline is this?, they cannot afford flat-screens to show this?”. That was my first disappointment; and that was only my first flight from Gothenburg to Stockholm, quick 45 minute flight :)

Now from Stockholm-Sweden to Beijing-China; a straight 8-9 hours AIRCHINA flight. As a male, I always take note of air hostess. Usually the have the hottest and nicest woman ever. NO NO, not in AirChina. Haha. Not saying the hostess in that flight weren't nice, they really were but “hot” was the problem. Anyway I got to sit with this young Japanese dude. I was happy about that because you never want to sit with old people on a flight just because you are so nice to them but they are never nice to you. They can get up every 5 minutes and give you that “I am old, my bladder is weak” kinda speech, but once you get up twice, they give you that “I am old, why are you letting me stand so much” speech, you know. Lol

So my man's name was Kikuchi Yoshihiro. He was 19 years. I didn't hesitate to introduce myself and as I had expected, he was really receptive and in no time we were talking about girls already ;) His name was gonna be problem so I opted to give him a nickname, I chose “Kiki” and he liked it. Kiki and I agreed on the hottest among the air hostess, so that was a good start.lol.. Kiki's english wasn't that good, so at some point, I had to write some of the questions I wanted to asked him, he could read better than speak. “Which country has the nicest girls ? Japan or China?” I asked. He said “I have no idea” and just when the pretty hostess we had agreed on came to serve, he said “I think its China”. I said “Damn man, you people must really be deprived of pretty girls in Japan, aren't you?” hehe

When I bought the ticket, I chose “Muslim food”. Basically that means I don't eat pork. So they come to serve us food, Kiki opens his and its pretty nicely made so I was excited about it. I open mine and it's nothing but some vegetables and some potatoes. I asked the lady “Excuse me, what is this? vegetarian food?”. Lol. She says “No, its Muslim, isn't that what you chose?”. Long story short, I was mad as hell as I chewed down some dry vegetables like a farm animal while Kiki gobbled down his chicken meat and rice. The way Kiki eats is pretty disturbing; really fast, face down, staring at the food the entire time; it was more like a wrestling match to be honest. I kept saying to myself “Thank God this dude comes from Japan, he sure cannot handle hunger in Somali”. Haha

Two more things got me a bit distressed on the flight, I realized that announcements were pretty long In Chinese but really short when they translated. They could say 2 minutes long Chinese and just say “We will arrive in 5 minutes” in English. I kept wondering if these people were planning an exit strategy and wanted to leave my black ass behind. Lol. Also, times announced were never reached exactly, they could say we will fly in 5 minutes but flew in 20. That is ghetto for real y'all. Haha !!

So after 8 hours, we arrive in Beijing. Nice and Simply made airport. After passing through the security checkpoints, I realize the Chinese are serious about security. THEY DONT PLAY. Unlike other airports, their security neither smile at you nor pamper you at all. They are mean as hell, and understandably so. There was one guy sitting behind the desk at the first checkpoint but once I got there, another one comes to stand next to me. “Oh damn, what these folk about to do” I thought. So I got my smiley face on but they still didn't grin. One guy asks me “Is this is your first time in China”, I said “Yesirr”, then he asks again, I say the same. He asks the 3^rd time and I reply “YES”. That was when I knew these guys ain't here for no games. At the second checkpoint, they took out everything liquid on you and threw it out. This really old Chinese man had water on him, they told him to either drink it all or throw it out. He opted to drink, had problems finishing it, but forced it. Right after, he started to cough and everyone in line was disturbed as to what was happening. “He was not gonna die on us, is he". So strangers in line tried to help him but the security could care less. They didn't even flinch or try to help. It was confirmed that “These Chinese dudes are SERIOUS about their security”. No wonder they blocked all social networking websites in their country; Facebook, Twitter, Youtube....etc. :((

So In all, AIRCHINA was pretty good. I think I will stick with it anytime I fly in and of China. At least they got me writing stories for myself and you guys to read :) One thing I also liked was that, I think Chinese security use racial profiling in their security checks. For example,they checked me thoroughly during passport checks BUT almost did nothing with frisking and baggage checks like they did the Asians and the white folks. I bet they knew BOMBS and BLACKS don't go together. You can't really blame them, can you? When have you ever heard a black dude bomb anything in your entire life. First of all, you gotta be on time with a bomb and thats gonna be a major problem. haha. That ain't our thing. Perhaps, they thought passport-fraud was, no wonder they hard-checked me on that side. Haha

I hooked y'all up with some pictures of my journey, Part 2 of this post will be about lifestyle in China and how Chinese people do. Hope you'd like it :))

Thanks for reading y'all........ONE LOVE !!



Me and my hommies/basketball goons - the day i left :(




my father from another grandmother with a different color - KP y'all



My Swedish family - sad i was leaving them but baby ZION was happy tho



There we go again - see the baby's mowhawk ? thats natural y'all. lol



Me and Kikuchi, Japanese dude i told y'all about :)

They call this Muslim food ? Vegetarians don't even eat this. haha

Thats the paper Kikuchi and I were writing on. Now you believe me ? lol

Finally in Chengdu - my first diiner in China. pretty nice huh :)

Thats my room y'all. All set up. well not yet, ALMOST :))

ALL TOO SOON #Memories !!

I will be leaving here in a couple of days to conquer another continent. I will send y'all pictures of my new home in my next post. So these are flashes of memory as well as a goodbye message to all my friends currently living in Sweden where I am. If you are not here, kill yourself. 😜
HERE WE GO !!

• In the second year of my study I met this Chinese Associate prof. He asked my name and I told him “Mubarak”, then he said “No the full name”, I said “Mubarak Sani Ellis”. He started laughing and said “Just 3 words ?You are playing, ain't u?”, I said “No I am not” and he says “Aren't you African, I heard you people have like 100 words in your names”. Funny enough, his name was Jian Yang. I wanted to reply “Really, I heard you people have only 2 alphabets in your names too, like “Yu Ho or Yu As Ol” Thank God I didn't. I would have probably failed his course terribly.
  
  
• Recently I talked to his one girl. She asked me where I was from and I said Ghana. Then she asked “Is it true that Africans live in some desert with no clothes and just something to cover their private parts?” That was a funny one, it made me laugh quite a bit. I wanted to reply “Yes we do, I actually swam a desert of sand to get here” but I didn't. In our conversation we talked a little about sports too and I told her I play basketball. She said “Don't you have to be tall to play basketball?” I thought to my myself; wow!! can this girl be anymore disrespectful? But I understood her, its kinda different when a language isn't your first, I am the first to admit that because I sometimes sound rude when I speak Swedish and I never realize it, so it was cool. Plus she was a nice person, even though she got me mad at my height for a few seconds. 
  
  
• Assal is this really nice girl I became friends with a couple of months ago; probably the coolest girl I met here, and there are not a lot of them around. So Assal is one of those girls who likes to hug right. I didn't see Assal much, probably 3 or 4 times the entire time, but I think I hugged her more than I have hugged anyone my entire life. Hugging Assal is a bitter-sweet feeling. The bitter part is just before the hug and the sweet part is right after she squeezes. Bitter because; Assal is bigger and taller than I am, I am a small dude so hugging her made me feel like a kid in her arms, u know. That was never a good feeling. The Sweet part was that; Assal is blessed with double B's, if you know what I mean. My cheeks always ended on these double B's and my face always beamed with smiles. Just when I am enjoying myself quite a bit, we had to break off, like she knew exactly what I was thinking. God! I hope she doesn't see this before I see her again tomorrow, if she doesn't hug me, then she probably did, damn. Wish me luck guys. Haha
  
  
• So a couple of quick ones. I was at a party one time where we were going to be served food. It was four people to one tray of food. So I join this table with this Asian dude and 2 Arab guys. The food comes, this Asian dude picks up all the meat in the food, chews everything, stands up and walks the heck off. We couldn't believe what had just happened. 😞 
  I love Hassan, that's my boy for sure. I don't drink but Hassan does. Hassan is the most uncomfortable person to be with when he has a little too much to drink. He is those kind of people who squeeze and kiss you all over your face when intoxicated. He literally turns into a white girl, and not just that, he sees me as one too; trying to kiss my cheeks every damn time. Till today, he never understands why I walk two feet away from him after a party.
  
  
• I love Chinese people. Socially, they just like Africans. You can just meet one randomly on the streets and have conversation like you've known each other for years. I became friends with Fan, a friend of my roommate. Till today, he never understands why the first question I asked him was “Do you know any martial arts?” I bet you guys are wondering the same too. Well, Fan has an interesting name “Fan” and I knew I would be messing with him the moment he told me. So I had to be sure if he knew how to fight because I didn't want to be kicked in the face. “So Fan, you know I broke the fan in my room today right. I am a big fan of air conditioners but I fancy fans more because fans are fantastic. What do u think about my fan, Fan ? Is it fun, I think it is, right Fan ?”...Fan has a sense of humor, thank God for that. If not, I would be stitched up in the hospital by now. I'll miss teasing Fan.

I have a full book but I didn't want to bore you guys so I'm going to keep it short. But nonetheless, I love all the people I talked about, those I didn't and everyone else I came in contact with; Dawda with his fat ass, yes he is a man y'all, I was just as surprised *PAUSE*, Krister, Ehsan, Tobias, Olov, Ivy, Oliver. All my Pakistani friends; Kashan and co. – I love y'all. My Chinese friends Yixiao and co., my Iranians, Assoc. Prof. Vessen and everyone I came in contact with. I got nothing but 50 kilogram of concrete love for y'all........and I will miss you all.

Thanks for reading y'all.......ONE L.O.V.E ✌✌!!

Brothers !!

We did awesome in this race, didnt we? we represented our Department pretty well

Olov's birthday party......fun night

my hommies Hassan and Dawda. See how small they made me look

project work at ERICSSON with KASHAN !!

Our last day together....Olov's presentation..Olov, Ehsan, Me, Oliver, Tobias and Ivy :))

My master thesis presentation. I was nervous as hell but the picture doesn't show, does it?

Alumni of Chalmers University of Technology..this place gave me headaches, glad I made it through.

Father from another grandmother with a different color...Kristen Petersson !!

My Thail friend, Adisak Romputtal.......Love you bro. You were good to me !!

Teddy's graduation after-party with my GH. boyz and Robert repping for Zambia

Mandoza, Moe Slow, Me, Khaled......My birthday Barbeque