I'm getting worse and worse when it comes to putting out these blog posts. Don't know if it's because I always have a lot on my mind or if it's just sheer laziness. It is definitely not a lack of topics - have tens of them lying in the 'vault'. But unfortunately they still have to wait their turn because last night's experience has taken precedence. Here we go!
So its 9 pm Friday night and it's time for me to head home from work. At the traffic stop just before I hit the main street, I see a bunch of people marching the streets, like some sort of procession. The lights turn green but can't move because these guys are still marching and chanting right in front of my vehicle. Its past 9pm now and I'm the only one under that traffic light. That means I couldn't blow my horn nor show attitude since I didnt have no back up. The last thing I want is to get jumped by a bunch of excited, sweaty, half-naked dudes on a Friday night. That's the type of story you take to the grave: one you cannot even tell your friends about since it will become a running joke forever. So I kept my cool. The light turns red again and these guys keep coming: a bunch of them too. As the saying goes..."there is always that one person who takes things overboard". Well, there isn't any saying like that actually, but you guys get the point. Just as the light turned green again, this little guy stops right in front of the vehicle and starts dancing and stripping. Mind you, this is late evening, and my car lights are shining brightly at him. That is to say, everything was wayyy to clear for my liking.
This dude takes of his shirt facing the vehicle, then turns around and takes off his pants to display his butt cheeks. Now, I'm sitting in the car thinking "This dude is lucky it's not just him and I, I definitely would have poked him with the car so he hits his head for sure". Like the scene wasn't bad enough, he bends down with his back facing me, opens his legs widely and spreads out his butt cheeks, with my high definition- HD lights shining right through it..WHAAAAT!!
That was a biology class I was not prepared for. I did not even see anything strange because the light was shining so brightly, but I didn't see anything 'unstrange' either. It was just a very confusing and bizarre sight. It's like staring through the barrel of a gun. You kind-of see the bullet in it but you don't really see the bullet in it. Got it?? 😐 I started getting scared immediately; didn't know why. Lo and Behold, the green-light came up and this guy decided to sit on the hood of my car with his bare buttocks before he moved on with his friends. Just so you know, his imprints are still visible my hood y'all. Disturbing, I know! Washing bay tomorrow I guess. 😒
On my way home, this played on my mind the entire time. "Where did that fear come from?", I thought. Immediately, I flashed back to 2011 in Gothenburg when I had similar but a more fearful experience. It was summer time and school had vacated. I was oneday walking through the quiet campus to a soccer training session, few blocks away from the school. In one of the dark alleys, I saw a big Indian-looking dude on a bike riding my direction. I didn't think anything of it and just continued to do my thing. He gets close to me, stops his bike, and says "hello". I take my headphones out and respond amicably. He then says, to this date the scariest words I have ever heard in my life, "Do you want me to suck you?". My heart dropped immediately. I felt I misheard, so I asked "What?". Then he says it more explicitly (PG 30) and adds a smile to it... like that was going to do the trick. SMH! Akoa wei paa. I smiled back and said "Nah man, I'm good. I'm straight. But Thanks" and pursed walking. I guess he thought I was playing hard-to-get so he kept looking back like I'll eventually change my mind. Soon as I turned the corner, I started running so hard and didn't stop till I reached the training... with everyone asking why I was in so much hurry while I was half-an-hour early. All I could think was "What if he didn't ask nicely? What if he tried to force it?" Boy was I terrified.😁. Now listen, I'm no push-over. I benchpress 80 kilos (176 lbs) and squat 130 kilos (280 lbs) so I can handle myself... but something about the THOUGHT of forceful entry to a man's rear end makes you lose every ounce of confidence and scares the living crap out of me. I guess if I were superman, my kryptonite would be called "Bootyhole", or "Forceful Entry", or something mildly inappropriate like that. 😛
I'm saying all this to say, when the little skinny dude did that crap yesterday, these were the kind of things that popped up while I was heading home. I think it is safe to say that I didn't enjoy my ride home. I've had better nights for sure. It is also safe to say that I cannot survive in jail (if you know what happens in jail). Thank God Momma raised me to live a proper lifestyle. haha
Sorry to bring y'all this inappropriate tale this happy Saturday evening. But just like comedy, writing is therapeutic, so you readers are my therapists. Thank you 👌👍
Oh, to make this post even more weird. I think Gay men should be leading the frontlines when it comes to WAR. I think nobody is braver than a MAN who makes the CONSCIOUS decision to utilize his anal cavity for extra curricular activies. That's the most hardcore & gangsta thing I've ever seen in my life, EVER. 😂
Thanks for reading y'all.......Peace ✌
NO PICTURES FOR THIS POST...COULDN'T FIND ANY NON-DISTURBING PHOTOS 😆
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