THE RETURN (to the ex)

sup y'all

So I had a couple of things on my mind I wanted to write about this week but I chose to write this piece on EXes because it was the most recent thing I had experienced prior to writing this, so why not write that first.
This is something that actually happens to a lot of people. Almost every guy or girl has heard the words "dont worry, she/he will come back".

So why do ladies want a return to the guy they broke up with in the first place? well that is the million dollar question. The quickest answer that might pop up in ones head is probably "because she loves him" and the quickest response one would think about is "then why did she leave him in the first place".

Well, I think there a lot of angles one can look at this. But firstly, let me quote this from an episode of the hit TV show, THE GOOD WIFE, for those of you who watch or might want to watch, it was something one character, Alicia Florrick, said in one episode where she had seen her ex-boyfriend from college and good old memories started surfacing. A colleague of hers noticing this, told her to go back to this guy since her marriage was on rocky grounds anyway. Alicia responded "It looks romantic and perfect because its not happening". These few words resonated with me a lot since it has in-dept meaning to it. This brings me to my first point.

• As humans, we tend to always remember the good things about a place even if it was the harshest place ever. Once we make it out from a tough time or place to a better one, we always remember the older times for its good memories not necessarily the bad. This ability to forget some pain and hurt is one of the best gifts humans possess. With that being said, i believe this happens in relationships too and as most men will know, women always want to compare past relationships with the present and wish they could go back to enjoy the same things they had enjoyed in a past relationship, especially if they are not getting the EXACT same pleasures in the current one . Women like adventure and personally, I think the thought of adventure is always fun until you actually experience it, then you realize its not as much fun as u thought it would. At least Aron from the movie 127 HOURS will agree. haha

• This point is just point-blank truth and I know some of the ladies who might read this will agree and some of you will probably be pissed.. but hey it is what it is. Ladies just hate to see their ex's happy with another girl, especially if the girl is prettier. That's just in your DNA ladies, sorry. Personally I think its the same reason girls always want be the ones to end a relationship. For some reason, it makes sense to them who broke it off. Breakup is breakup ladies, regardless of who said the words, and this can be tied to my very next point.

• I hate to say this but I think women are somewhat selfish (and I mean that in both ways, good and bad). That is how God made you. That is to my people who believe in God. So if you don't, just replace "God" with whatever you believe in, i.e, "moon", "universe", or whatever people believe in these days". Women always want ALL of a man, i.e, money, time, energy...etc. You cannot even be closer to your mum than your girl these days. True story, one girl said " I want you to love me so much that you cannot breathe without me " and she really thought whoever she said it to could do that ? haha. Well of course the guy responded "Yes" just to keep the peace between them. So point is, no woman wants another woman to enjoy what she is enjoying with a man or has enjoyed with a man. That's how come your girl has NEVER being good friends with any of your exes. I bet you are thinking right now... "yeahhhh he is right". Yep, I know

• This point is possibly the most important to me. From the words of my favorite comedian STEVE HARVEY who wrote a New York Times best selling book "ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN", he said "A lot of women have had good men and not know it". Personally, i think the idea of a good man to a woman is over-emphasized. It means your idea of what a good man should be may not exactly be what it actually is. So true story, I overheard my mum talk to my sister when she was going to get married, she said to her " A good man is a man who has a some fear in God and is kind to you and generous ". As a young boy, I thought to myself  "wow, is that all mum is saying to sis". As a little older man now, I realized that was the best advice she could have given her. That simply means that you can never find the whole package in any one person, and I guess for her, a kind and God fearing man is what is getting her through, now, 35 years of a marriage. So point is, be content with the who your partner is and what he has because you never know, you might even be lucky he still comes home and kisses you goodnight. Somebody else is just craving for a goodnight and not getting it. I guess what I am saying is, some women leave guys for the wrong reasons, then go out to test-the-waters and realize the waters are not that sweet and later want to make that bullshit-ass-comeback. The same situation happens with men too.

Now let me hit on this subject really quickly. Fellows !! have you noticed that your girl never talks good about her ex. I mean NEVER. NOT ONCE. All they do is bash and condemn them to you, and we really don't want to hear it but since it makes them feel good, we just have to listen and act like we care. So true story, me, my boy, and his girlfriend were hanging out one time. The whole time she was talking about her ex and saying all humiliating stories about him that we shouldn't even be knowing about. 3 days after breaking up with my friend, I saw her write this on her ex's Facebook profile page (this is no joke),  she said "Why did I let you go, I will never find anybody who will love me like you did" and this was the first of many messages. WOW !! you can imagine how shocked we were to see this. So please ladies, the ex bashing to your man is played out and we don't even want to hear it plus we know you will do the same to us if the unfortunate happens. As the saying goes, if you can't speak good about a person, just shut up about them.

That notwithstanding, people make mistakes in relationships and sometimes things don't work out for the right reasons. That's cool but I think its better to always keep a healthy relationship with people you come across. Moreover, its always easy to make the "bullshit-ass-comeback" 😅😅

ENJOY READING.....One Luv 💃