An afternoon with Mr. GBOZO, the painter

I’ve been working on a post called “Money made me do it” for a while. That was actually the post I had to publish after the last one. But my experience with Mr Gbozo, the painter, was so ill that I had to write about that instead.

One night when I was with my boy Leroy watching episode 7 of “Start up”, I asked him who had done the paintjob on his house and he said “Mister Gbozo”.“Mister Gbozo? What’s with the Mister?”, I asked. He responded “he’s OLD”. Mind you, Leroy has always hooked me up with artisans, but I’ve never heard him call none of them 'Mister'. Its usually Richard - the electrician, Richie - the plumber, Moses - the mason, Daniel - the ceiling guy, etc. So I asked him “Dude, like how old?”. He looks me dead in the eye and repeats “OOLD”. I took his number, called him and arranged to meet Wednesday, the following week.

Wednesday came quickly and we agreed that morning to meet at my neighborhood, close to Leroy’s home, at 9 am. I was on time, you know, first impressions and all that. But most importantly, I didn’t want to keep an old man waiting. Maybe he had a bad hip, who knows. So I picked him up, went to show him the place and later agreed to go to the Coral Store to get the paint we needed.

Mr. Gbozo is old indeed. Mr. Gbozo only spoke English, and Mr Gbozo never spoke unless he was spoken to. And Oh! When I met Mr. Gbozo he was leaning on a pole just before I picked him up. My guess is, he has a bad hip for real. In short, Mr. Gbozo was a character and it was about to be a long afternoon.

We spent about an hour at the Coral store. To a point where the store keeper was getting inpatient with us. Why? Because Mr Gbozo didn’t want to chip in at all. I’ll say “I want the walls to be green, do you think it’ll match the brown floor and white ceiling?”. Then he’ll say with a smile “Umm, I don’t know, it’s your work, so”. I’ll later again ask “Mr Gbozo, Is the red too bright for the doors or does it need to be mixed first?”, He’d respond “Umm, maybe. But I don’t know, it’s your work, so”. “Damn, this man has got no opinions? I asked myself. So I happened to get all the paint we needed, no thanks to Mr. Gbozo, and now it was time to check the prices and pay.

I step out for a minute to get something from the vehicle and when I return, Mr Gbozo has a pen and paper and I notice him working something out on paper. I figured he was doing some estimations so I didn’t bother. I kept going around the store looking at different colors. After a couple of minutes, I returned and saw the lady at the store furious. I noticed Mr Gbozo was still working out his math. I got closer and realized he was actually summing up the prices of the paint we had chosen. Do y'all remember how we used to do arithmetic like 20 years ago when calculators weren’t around? I’m talking about “carry one”, “remainder one” sort of stuff - like grade-1 math. That was what Mr. Gbozo was doing. I saw his paper and was like “Ah! Mr. Gbozo, what are you doing? Are you doing calculations here?”. He said “Yea”. I was a little frustrated and like “Ah, Mr. Gbozo, do you see a money counter, a laptop and that big ass calculator right next to you? I thought you were even working out an amount for discount. This is a big store, nobody has time for carry ones and remainder twos oo”. He smiles and says “Okay, we can use the calculator. It’s your work, so”. I had to laugh that one off. What’s with this man and the term “It’s your work, so”, I thought.

So we buy the buckets we need, put them at the back of the vehicle and take them away. I go to drop off Mr. Gbozo on my way home and just before he gets off, he says “You know if you get me another job, we can negotiate your share and you can get a cut from it”. I looked at him dead in the eye and thought “So you know how to initiate conversation? This man hadn’t said a word the whole trip and when he finally does, he decides to negotiate a monetary deal with me? SMH. I couldn’t even be mad at him. At least, he is about his money. I respected that.

After he alighted, I called my friend Leroy, and said “Yo, but wey painter you give me no?”. He responds “Oh! you met Mr. Gbozo, didn’t you? I told you he was OLD...and not just OLD but he's the embodiment of the term OLD”. Couldn’t help but laugh. I said "Bruh this is different, my Dad is older and he isn't like this". Leroy says "But your Dad isn't a painter, is he?. Then I reply "What are you saying? you mean something about smelling paint your whole life makes you hate the times we are in?". He laughed and said "Oh, you saw that too? How many hours were you with him?". I said "Long enough bro". He asked "Have you seen him eat? ...."NO, and I do not want to see either. Thanks for offering though" I replied. 😁 ...That was enough for a day 

Mr. Gbozo will definitely come up in conversation when we watch episode 8 of “START UP” for sure. Can’t wait. 

Shout out to the hommie Leroy (aka YayyYayy). Much Love!

Thanks for reading y'all......Peaceeee ✌

                 

   Mr. GBOZO in your shot. Check out his stance. I knew he had a bad hip 😁

 

I came in to see Mr. Gbozo like this....thinking he was estimating something. Boy was I wrong.

 

Mr. Gbozo remembered his old school days. This man is definitely not going along with the times. This is what I call "Stuck in the 50s". Do y'all realize his calculations are even incorrect ?? haha

 

There lie a calculator, a money counter and a laptop right next to Mr. Gbozo. This man just didn't give a damn. 😂

 

Carry ONE, Remainder ONE

 

Mr. Gbozo will love this, wouldn't he?

When Meeting The Doctors Go Wrong

I've been to the hospital more times in the last 3 months than my entire life combined: from spending hours - to spending nights - to spending full days. In these couple of months, I have seen, interacted and heard more doctor-slang than any other 'language'. So much that I can literally make a full diagnosis on a sick patient, having spent not a second in a medical class. 

When a patient is admitted, doctors come in and out. Depending on what your lab results show, the corresponding doctor comes to introduce him or herself and tells you what is happening with you and how they plan to proceed with treatment. But before that, the nurse on duty usually tells you which doctor will be coming, so the patient prepares to meet them. Now that is what causes problems, for me at least, is THE EXPECTATION. 😩

So it was my old man who was on admission. After a few days under admission, we were informed the dietitian would be coming around. After a few hours she comes in and says to my dad "Mr. Ellis, do you know who I am". She caught my attention with those words - very dramatic, right? My dad responds "You are the dietitian". Then she replies "Yes! do you know why I'm here?". Now I'm getting a little frustrated and thinking "Masa! what is this? A pop quiz for a dying man in a wheel chair?". My dad responds "I don't know". I guess he was getting slightly irritated himself. So in the process of telling my dad what to eat and what not to, she says "You can eat eggs, but just eat the white part and give the yolk to him". By him, she meant ME. I said to her "Oh yeah? So I can get sick and come here for you to tell me not to eat yolks, right?". She cracks a smile and moves on. At that point I knew it was going to be a long couple of days there.

After a few hours, we were informed another doctor would come around. Something like the prostate doctor if I heard it correctly. After several hours of waiting, someone knocks, opens the door and steps in. Soon as she stepped in, my dad and I looked at each other. Even though we didn't utter any words, I know we both thought "DAMN". This young doctor was about 400 Lbs. That's about 180 kg. That is a LOT of weight y'all. I know a doctor is supposed to inspire confidence in a patient but this doctor clearly did not. She rather scared the heck out of us. My dad and I looked at each other like "Crap, we've got to get the hell out of here".  She proceeds to kick me out of the room after telling my dad to pull his pants down. "Wait! you get to see that and I can't? Why?" I thought. That's a story for another day.

Anyway, I thought to myself "Are patients less likely to trust doctors who are obese?" It seems like an unreasonable thought but it's a valid concern because you expect people in other careers to match what they are selling: dentists to have good teeth, dermatologists to have nice skin, gym-trainers to have good physique - and so on. With that reasoning, shouldn’t doctors be the perfect picture of health in areas of medicine that they can control? I’m not talking about doctors being sick with a cold or having asthma; but doctors who make lifestyle choices that are clearly not healthy. The easiest one to spot is obesity. Would you really listen to someone who tells you to lose weight if he or she can’t seem to do the same even for health reasons?

What put the melting-icing on the crumbling-cake was this nurse who came around in the nights. She was the most discombobulated nurse I had ever seen. She would have a list of medicine and drips to administer but always forgot which one she had given and hadn't given. "Do you remember if I have given him this?" or "Do you think we should give him that?", She asks me. I became the shot-caller/doctor-on-duty anytime she was on night-shift. She would give him a drip and then later ask what drip she had given him. Like that wasn't bad enough, that was the most critical stage of my dad's condition. At that point we knew we had to leave this place. They had no idea what the hell they were doing. 

Bags got packed and we were OUT !! ✋   ...........Thank God the old man is doing a lot better now in his new place.

Saying meeting the doctors went left is an understatement. SMH 

Thanks for reading y'all......Peaceee ✌

A doctor should inspire confidence. Your appearance is part of that too.

This is definitely not a good look. Doctor or otherwise

That look on your face when the doctor walks in and she is 100 pounds overweight. Damn!

My face when the nurse asked "Do you remember if I have given him this?"

My dad and I looked at each other like this...."Crap, we've got to get the hell out of here"

Was around these doctors for so long I knew all these conversions off-head

You might be the best doctor in the world but trust you'll lose patients when you look like you carry extra buttons because your big belly keeps ripping your shirt off. 

INVIGILATOR'S VIEW:: GOD or EXAMS ?

Ask most students to describe the experience of sitting in an exam hall and 'boring', 'tensed, 'tough', 'stressful' would be the most common response a lot of the time, depending on how the exam goes. There isn't much fun in sitting silently for hours in a stuffy hall where the only sounds you hear are occasional coughs, turning of pages, and the blasting tick-tock of the exam hall clock. Now let's flip this for a second - how does it feel tasked with watching students take exam for hours? It is a whole different experience especially when you are used to being on the other side.

So they made a 'mistake' and put yours' truly on a job like that. Like that wasn't bad enough, it was a matured student distant learning class. This basically means a lot of the students are a lot older than regular college students; ages ranging from 30 - 60 years. Yeah, 60. A lot of invigilators are usually mean or have to act mean to deter students from communicating, but not me. I found the entire scene hilarious and couldn't help laughing within, and on a few occasions, cracking a smile here and there. "These people are about to be on a blog post and don't even know it", I thought.

In one of the halls I invigilated, I caught this very-pregnant woman cheating. I would guess about 40-years old and about 6-months pregnant. "Wow, only if this unborn baby knew his Mum was cheating in an exam while pregnant with him", I imagined. One day this lady is going to tell this same baby not to cheat or lie in an exam. Damn, we are all going to hell, aren't we.

You know what cracked me up the most? There was this man, probably 55+ years old whom I personally knew, trying to communicate with a mate next to him. I caught him staring at his mate's paper while his mate had aligned his work so this elderly man could see. The sad part is: the old man wore glasses and had to take off the glasses to have a good look at his mate's paper. "Dude! how do you copy from another man's paper and not have good eye-sight?". It's like doing an armed robbery and not be armed. I didn't even have to look hard to catch him cheating. Anytime I saw somebody take their glasses off from the corner of my eye, I knew 'Grand-papa Da Cheater' was at it again. I didn't want to speak out loud so I took a quick stroll pass his column. He saw me and said "Hi, Sir". I responded "Hey, hope it's going well?", He smiles and says "Yes, please". "You liar", I thought. I went passed his friend's column and quietly told him to align his papers correctly so others won't be tempted to cheat. Sorry, I still had a job to do.

I could bet almost everybody in the exam hall was a parent, and yet, 70% of them were cheating, or attempted to cheat. That cracked me up. I was watching the whole time thinking "Man, I wish I could line their kids up right now and see how they feel about mummy and daddy sneaking a peak, or throwing gang signs in an exam room in an attempt to steal". That'd be hilarious and a good TV show, if any producers are reading this. Thank me later.

People fear exam. After God, I think Exam scares the hell out of people the most. Imagine hearing the words "Start Work", taking a glance at the questions and realizing you can only solve 20% of the questions provided. You already know you've failed the paper before you even begin. The thought of re-sitting, re-studying, re-attending lectures, feeling shame, and adding more courses to subsequent courses scares the crap out of people, and at that moment, morals/religion/God/belief get thrown out the window. One time, just before exam began in the pre-exam talk where instructions are given, one invigilator jokingly said "It's a sin to cheat". Well, saying the students didn't care is an understatement. Nobody in the room gave a damn. That was probably the worst exam I invigilated.

So does the FEAR OF GOD outweigh the FEAR OF EXAM. Hmm...Who knows ?? Probably not, for most people at least, including a lot of you reading this right now 😃

Hope you enjoyed this piece.........Peace ✌✌👌

Typical Exam hall

When you know you are about to fail a paper before you even begin

Grandpapa Da Cheater doing his thing

When to Move On.....

Every man or woman's commitment expectation is different. But whatever commitment means to you, whether marriage, verbal assurances, or whatever it might be for you, it just doesn't happen just because you've been with somebody for a period of time and things "naturally" progress into a committed relationship.

What usually happens is that, one partner finds himself/herself feeling committed but doesn't sense the same level of commitment from their partner. Getting the person who doesn't seem ready to commit to commit is probably the most difficult thing to do, if not impossible.

After over a year without blogging (no fault of mine), why did I choose to write about this ?? Well I was inspired by a text message I received last night from my friend's girlfriend. Here is a little bit of the conversation that transpired. I did some little editing so as not to reveal any real names. The names I have used are just fictional. Here we go !!

HER: hey Sani, how r u ?
ME: Not bad, u ?
HER: Is Mike seeing anyone ?
ME: I really dont know to be honest.
HER. When you went to the party, did you see him with a girl ?
ME: Naa I didn't. Just saw him briefly, plus he left a little early.
HER: I just called him now and he said he was outside with a girl and then he hung up.
ME: He hung up ? u sure ?, it doesn't sound like him.
HER: Yea, I asked him what he was doing and he said he'll call me back and he hung up. I called him again and he didn't pick up. He said he was with a friend, I asked him which one and he just said I didn't know him.
ME: Maybe it's nothing, you know Mike likes to go out sometimes and its a holiday today. I can call him now and talk to him if you want me to.
HER: He is with a girl and he wouldn't talk to me?? I'm not stupid, my heart is in pain. Yeah, please call him.
ME: I just did. he didn't pick up either. Don't worry too much. At least he didn't lie, he could have said he was at home sleeping or som'n
HER: I think I just caught him off guard. He didn't want to tell me anything but I kept asking him questions. I have trusted the WRONG PERSON. I thought he would never do something like this to me. Sorry for talking about this. I just needed to talk to someone.
ME: Ok honestly, I think you shouldn't go looking for stuff cos you'll find something. Just take it easy. I don't see him except on weekends when we play football together. I'm sure he has made some new friends but that doesn't mean he's dating any of them, or it could be. Who knows ? But ultimately its up to you to make a decision if u gonna to stick around or move on based on what kind of future you have together. For us guys, we will keep a girl around even if we don't want her just because, that's how we are sometimes. So its up to the female to figure out if its in her best interest or not. Maybe you guys have to talk and figure stuff out.
HER: Thanks, what you said makes a lot of sense. But you know I don't like to be a fool, I don't like to be lied to, I want no games. Anyway, thanks a lot. Take care friend.

That's the conversation that sparked this post. Before the guys out there think I was "dry snitching". This is how complicated my friend and this girls relationship is. So my friend is in the same city as me and this girl who used to be here is currently residing in another country. Fact is, my friend doesn't want the relationship to go on but he's scared to tell the girl because she might do something crazy. She already threatened to leave whatever she is doing and fly down if she doesn't hear from him in 10 days so they are in CONSTANT communications. By this, I mean the "where are u, what are u doing" kind of conversation. This dude, my friend, "Mike", cannot take it and wants to get out. 

Here is the catch though, he has deep feelings for this girl and the girl is a really good girl, he says it himself, but HE IS JUST NOT READY WHATSOEVER TO TAKE IT WHERE SHE WANTS TO ..........A FUTURE, A MARRIAGE, MAYBE A BABY. None of that.

Well let me say this, some men and women may be tempted to get on board or get out, but this usually doesn't work because people in general resent being forced to abandon their position and are likely to leave or undermine the relationship. Just as you cannot insist someone to love you back when you love them. To insist or try to force commitment is to court unhappiness, pain and a broken heart. So the question is, WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU ARE READY FOR "COMMITMENT" AND THE OTHER PARTY IS NOT ??

In my opinion, there is no fast way for when a relationship should move on from one stage to another, but if your relationship has being "stagnant" for sometime and things aren't moving forward, then its time to address it. By that I mean; evaluate the relationship's commitment potential. There is definitely a reason why commitment hasn't been brought up in your discussions. What is the other person worried about, what does he/she fear about committing or settling with you. Most men/women have good reasons for resisting commitment. Most men are very conscious about why they don't want to commit but their partners usually have no idea at all. There could be a lot reasons. For example in "Mike's" situation, he just doesn't want to settle just because, he tells me, he wants to play the field a little bit more and he doesn't see the point in settling with his girl, but the girl has no idea at all about this. He just keeps telling her lies as to why he is not ready, and she keeps hanging around waiting for when he does, and that's very sad, even for me, since she is a great girl and can do better and shouldn't be wasting her years like she is. But like I said to her, this is where you really have to evaluate your relationship and figure out if it really has commitment potential.

For other people, one person, usually the man, is more focused on the negatives than the positives and is afraid he might not be able to cope and thus things might not work out, leading to a break up and hurt. 

Like stated in previous posts, I believe honest communication solves it all. However, honest communication is something that is built over a period of time. Especially with women, its sometimes hard for a man to be totally honest just for the fear of how she might react or feel. Women are usually more difficult to take certain criticism than men which is sometimes a problem when honest communication is to be had. However, once you can build that in your relationship. Every problem can be solved with ease, respect and support.

Therefore if the fears the man or woman has, concerning commitment is unfounded, then reassure him or her. If you don't understand what they are saying, let them explain. There is, however, a way to do it without sounding "bitchy", angry or "naggy". Ask, listen and show EMPATHY towards his or her fears and concerns as to why he or she doesn't want to commit or take things further in your relationship. There is always a reason, a real reason. NO BS.

This post is not necessarily about when to get out of a relationship. I don't want any men out there blaming me for messing up their relationships J. I'm merely saying when you think your relationship has gotten to the point where you have to take things to the next level, that conversation has to be had. What I will say is this, if you are a woman who has stuck by a man for several years, you deserve that right to expect things to move further in your relationship. Like I said earlier, you cannot force a man to give you that respect right back, but you deserve it. If he doesn't want to, then its up to you to know what you are worth and do what you have to, the right way. 

About a week ago, while in the middle of writing this post, I met a beautiful Russian woman somewhere in south east Asia who had been travelling for years. She told me a sad story about how her and her boyfriend for 6 years had just broken up while they were both travelling. To keep a long story short, she was not getting any younger and wanted to take things further in their relationship, but he didn't want that so they broke it off. 6 YEARS down the drain ?? wait, SIXXX ?? That's not something you just throw away. This is what I told her, I might be right or wrong depending how you feel, but I said "After 6 years of being together with a man, you deserve to ask him that. You deserve to be shown that love. You deserve to require that from him, and not feel sorry it at all"............and I wasn't saying that to make her feel better, I actually meant it. I actually told her I was in the middle of writing this post and gave her the website to check it out when I was done. So "EL" if you are reading this, you somewhat made this post worthy of writing and sorry I couldn't say goodbye before I left.

Thanks for reading y'all..........ONE LOVE.

If you want to keep being happy with me, let commit to each other. if not, bags packed. Let me go find that somewhere else bcos this clearly ain't going nowhere.

Commitment is not exclusive, even though its men who USUALLY resist commitment, sometimes its the other around.

Hold on tight.

True that

Open up the conversation and speak on it honestly.

MAMMA beat my ass - PART 2

Wow, its being a while, hasn't it? Man, I wanted to bring y'all part 2 of this post long ago but I run into some serious complications which I’ll let you in on…in another post. So where were we ?? Oh yeah, we were talking about how mum used to whoop my butt right? Let me tell you guys another interesting one. Part 2: Mamma Beat my Ass.

So when I younger, I was giving a chore to do everyday. I had to make sure the living room was clean in the mornings. Some sweeping, cleaning, dusting tables…stuff like that. I usually skipped the sweeping part since one couldn't tell if the carpet was swept or not. I usually just arranged the chairs, dusted a few things and called it a day. This had gone on for a while until one morning, while in the shower, I heard “THE CALL”. It went like “Herr Mubarak”. When Mum said “Herr” right before your name, you knew your ass was in trouble.

I quickly wiped myself, and got out of the shower half wet with my towel around my waist. I responded “Yes Maa” with the shakiest voice you'll probably ever hear. Why was I scared ?? The worst thing in the world is to get beat up very early in the morning. It messes up your entire day, plus I had school that morning. What bad timing L

So I met her at the living room. She had figured out that I hadn't been doing my job properly. I was ready for some screaming and mean mugging but that didn't happen, hmmm. Why didn't she get too mad?? Well, she had to leave for work early and really didn't have time to do any spanking or waste time on my mischievous self. I thought I had escaped this one until she said the most upsetting thing I've ever heard. She said “GO TO SCHOOL, BUT I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR BEATING IN THE EVENING WHEN I COME BACK”. I know that doesn't sound upsetting but I promise you, you don’t want to be told that at 7 am in the morning. My little sister even gave me a little smirk like “Boy, you are lucky” and was surprised that I looked even more upset. So why was I unhappy? HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO THROUGH AN ENTIRE DAY SMOOTHLY WHILE THINKING ABOUT THE ASS WHOOPING PROMISED ME AT THE END OF THE DAY? L

Maaan my whole day was messed up, shaken, uncomfortable, discombobulated...all the adjectives you can find. Boy I was in class the whole time thinking about what 'form and shape' the whooping will come in; “is it going to be with a belt, or a cane, or her hand?”, “how long is it going to take?”, “is she going to throw something at me?”, “how is it going to start?”, “how bad is it going to hurt?”. All these were running through my mind the entire time I was in school and after. I was dozing off in class, was inattentive, answering questions wrongly etc. Generally, I was a mess that day.

Now school was over and it was time to go home. I had to decide on how I would go home. “Should I get home early and prepare for the worst or should I stay around and get home late ?”, I thought. I finally decided to get home early before Mum does and sleep or at least pretend to sleep.

Around 4 pm she returned. I heard her voice from a mile away. I still hadn't slept, how could I ? “I have to start a fake snore and pretend to be so asleep so I can pretend not to hear her”, I decided. A couple of minutes later, she was in the house and she still hadn't called my name. Finally I heard her footsteps like she was coming towards the room. She opened the door, came in, stayed for a while and still didn't call. I thought my plan had worked to perfection. “Wow she didn't notice I was faking it”, I figured. I was so proud of myself. Now it started to get uncomfortable. I had been fake-sleeping for hours now and she still hadn't called. I felt like getting up since I was tired of lying on the bed in the same position and fake snoring the entire time. Do you know how hard it is to fake a snore for hours ? Harder than it sounds. Eventually I couldn't take it any longer and I had to “wake up”. I went out of the room and met her at the kitchen. I greeted her with the most innocent tone ever and she replied “ARE YOU DONE FAKE-SLEEPING?” and started smiling. I have never looked so stupid in my entire life, except the day I got hit by a bicycle while carrying some water on my head (that's a story for later guys). Then she said “You pretended to sleep just because I said I was going to beat you right?”. Of course I denied it, but it was obvious that my plan wasn't as genius as I had thought. It was actually a dumb one. She told me it would have been smarter if I had come home and finish up the job rather than wasting hours on "sleeping".

Like it was all over and done with, she then told me to go finish the job. "Damn, I thought she was going to let it slide this time"...I imagined. After that day, I did my job properly. I didn't want to go through all that hassle over some simple sweeping. I swept the carpet twice, dusted twice, arranged the chairs twice…….did everything twice from that day onward. 

That was a lesson. Its never too late to correct what you missed. At least make the effort J.

SHOUTOUT TO MY MAMMA. Love ya J

Thanks for reading y’all……ONE LOVE

Mamma with Paps (left) and Uncle

Somewhere in the States, probably China Town!!

Lazy cleaning gets you in trouble like it got me in trouble 

That's how I was fake sleeping y'all. no no !!

This was part of my job, dusting glasses and tables and stuff :(

Yeah she does, all the whooping proves it. hehe

One that day, I was sleeping in class like this kid