All men cheat, Period ?

 So this past couple of weeks, this has been a trending topic with all the females I talked to. "ALL MEAN CHEAT" is the slogan on these girls' crests. One girl was so frustrated with it that she decided to date females now, and she was not kidding, at least she didn't smile when she said it.

"I know my man is cheating on me and its fine because all men cheat anyway"......This is exactly the kind of notion I wouldn’t want women to develop because it makes you settle for a lesser standard than you deserve in a man. I believe every woman should keep a standard and men will respect them for holding them up to their standards.

With that being said. I believe a LOT Of guys do actually have affairs outside their relationships. I am not an expert on why it is so but I will just give my honest experience on ONE reason why it is so. To begin with, Steve Harvey - the renowned comedian and talk show host wrote in his New York Times best-selling book ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN, that "men cheat because there are a lot of women willing to cheat with them”. That is the point I want to highlight.

So I am at a party, met this girl I met a week before and we started talking. Long story short, she eventually tells me "I am looking for this guy Martin", I asked "Oh is that your boyfriend?", "Nooo, just a guy I found for the night" she replied. Like that wasn't enough, she said "I can't find him but I can go home with you if you want". Surprisingly that wasn't the only girl I met who proposed 'a fun night' if you know what I mean. Point is, how many guys, whether single, married, engaged or whatever will turn down 'opportunities' like this? And I bet this same girl is one of those complaining over unfaithful men. Then I guess some women actually help guys cheat, as Steve wrote. Just for the record, I didn't go home with her or any of them because I don't role like that, so Mamma if you are reading this, your son is still straight. haha

That notwithstanding, some guys are 'dogs' for no reason. Whether there is a lady to aid in cheating or not, they look to cheat, and that’s terrible. But the situation would and could be a lot better if our ladies would keep a high standard of themselves. ALL MEN ARE NOT CHEATERS, the moment you let that notion that we are, stick, you start settling for cheaters while there are tons of other good and honest men looking to date women like yourselves.

I love the females and I wish y'all the best in your relationships.

Thanks for reading y'all......Love 👫

you CAN'T COOK ?

So this was probably the one and ONLY time I was outwardly disrespectful to my Mum. I had come home late after work, starving, went straight to the kitchen and realized there was no food left for me. I asked her and she said  "I gave it out because I didn't know when you were coming"......"WHAT ?" I replied..to keep it short, lets just say ALL HELL BROKE LOSE. The kind of attitude I had shown her that night is the kind that would normally get my things thrown out of the house after a heavy beat-down...but surprisingly, she apologized and made me something really quickly. I bet she knew how important food was, especially after a long days work.

A MAN'S FOOD IS NOT TO BE OVEREMPHASIZED and Mum knew that. SO SHOULD YOU !!

Now let me keep this as real as possible. "Do men love women who cook than those who don't"? YES. "Is the cliché saying that "The way to man's heart is through his stomach true?" YES IT ABSOLUTELY IS ONE OF THE THINGS. "Is it because a woman who cooks reminds a man of his Mum"? YES IT DOES. To make this simpler, men simply love women who cook because we know the family will be taken care of. Period !!

I love to eat and every man does too. The usual topic when women talk about men is Sex. Starve your man for days and see if he asks you for sex. I can promise you he will turn it down even if you donate it to him. Personally, there is nothing more attractive than a woman in the kitchen; a woman who can create all the things your stomach craves for and looks good while doing it.

With that being said, I believe its all about upbringing. Some men love the job of cooking. Perhaps they were brought up in that manner, that's great too. I say this because I know a lot of women after reading this will go like "Well, why dont you guys cook too?". My answers are, "Why aren't women obligated to open doors for men but men are? or "Why aren't women obligated to give their Jackets to men when its cold, but men are?" These are things a woman expects a man to do for whatever reason. They could care less that Leonardo DiCaprio died in the movie "TITANIC" doing that kinda thing. Every sex is obligated by 'society' to do things for one reason or the other. Fortunately or unfortunately cooking falls on your laps ladies. Besides, its sexy, romantic, gives you that motherly figure that every man wants, and it completes you as well. As statistics show, 70 % of women who are good cooks are good home keepers, believe it or not. At least my Mum and sisters are.

As we all know, the intangibles or 'little things' speak more than the tangibles in a person, and COOKING is the one of the best intangibles in my books (and millions of men out there) when it comes to women. So for y'all ladies out there who don't know how to hold a knife; (I could name a few people I went to college with), please GO VISIT GRANDMA, GET PATTI LABELLE's COOKBOOK, JOIN A COOKING CLASS, YOUTUBE IT... do something. YOU WILL GET YOURSELF A REAL MAN, like myself, ya dig ? Lol

Thanks for reading y'all..........LOVE 👌 !!

A Day at the Doctor's !!

NOT my usual subject line but a couple of funny incidents at the hospital made me draw a pen and paper in the waiting room. 

I haven't been able to hear clearly with my right ear after some water got into it while taking a shower. This had caused tremendous amount of pain days before, so I decided to get it looked at at the hospital, perhaps an infection might be surfacing.

So there are a couple of people there and service was moving sort of slow. Funny thing was that, white people usually show facial distress than verbal unlike black people. So this dude sitting opposite me, I believe, had really terrible pain and was feeling really distressed. He kept looking straight at me and his facial expression was so funny that I started giggling. I looked elsewhere since I didn't want to get him offended. Believe me, the last thing you want in another man's land is to tease him while he is in pain. 

I changed seats since I couldn't help it. Couple of minutes later, this old lady and her pretty daughter come to sit opposite me in my new area, and I keep sneaking peeps at her daughter and I see her doing the same. Who wouldn't sneak a peek at this fine chocolate girl. The lady stands up and tries to show her daughter through the glass window that there is a stranger standing beside her car. She tries for a couple of minutes and her daughter is not noticing. The young girl now finds it funny, turns to me and smiles. The old lady then decides to step outside and have a closer look. While gone, I wrote this on a newspaper that I planned to give her daughter "Dont worry, that's just old people, they always see things nobody else sees, just like my Mum. lol "
There were a number of people around us so I couldn't give it to her right away. Just as I was going to hand it to her, her Mum popped up and I left the paper on the coffee table sitting between us. I go to the washroom, come back and realize some dude reading the newspaper I had written on. He saw me sit down, looked at me and starting smiling. "Damn, this dude has seen my note" I thought. Of course I acted like I didn't know anything about it.  So he finishes going through the newspaper and passes it on to the old lady. She flips the page and sees what I had written. Mind you, I wrote in English, this is Sweden, so obviously, a foreigner might have written this. Looking around the table, I was the only black dude amidst all white Swedish people so it was likely me. I still kept a mean face like I had no idea what had went down.

This doctor, probably from somewhere in the middle east, kept saying everybody's name wrongly. He mentioned all names the same, so people had to crosscheck their names on his paper before they went in. He comes to call me and I feel like I have been saved by the bell. He speaks to me in Swedish in front of everyone and I respond in English. Right after I did, I realized my cover had been blown, so I entered his office with my head down in shame. I tell him my problem and he tells me to follow him to the "Ear Ward". We get there, tells me to take off my shoes and get on the bed. This doctor starts looking for some ear device; turning things around and opening drawers. He tells me he cannot find the device he is looking for so I should follow him to the next ward to check. So we go through 3 other wards and it's nowhere to be found. He makes me follow him back to his office, lets me lay down and he picks this sharp pointed tool which was a little rusty. I knew I didn't have to be a doctor to know he was going to stick some inappropriate tool in my ear. I politely asked if that was the tool he was looking for and he said "This is gonna work too". So I nervously laid back while he stuck this tool in my ear. I tell y'all, this thing hurt so badly I quickly got up and told him I felt uncomfortable. He then wrote for me a prescription medicine to buy in the pharmacy, apologized for being unprofessional and told me to come back and see him on Monday. I forgot to ask him if I were going to pay for consultation again, perhaps we will discuss that on Monday, I thought. He better say NO before I sue him and make him lose his license. 😅

So I got out and realized the old lady, her daughter and everyone else around our table staring dead in my eye, but the dude who passed the paper on to the old lady was smiling at me. I fearfully squeezed a quick smile at them and rushed out of the hospital. I didn't even take the elevator. I descended 7 floors without breaking a sweat,  that was how nervous I was. 

So that was my bitter-sweet day at the doctor's. I left out a couple of stuff just to keep this short, like this little Somali baby who gave his Mum hell in the waiting room. His rebellion actually incited the other calm white babies to start rebelling too. Together they tore the whole place up. Amidst all this distress, I was scratching like a junkie because my chest hair which I had shaved about week ago had starting growing back and was really itchy. MY GUESS IS, THESE PEOPLE THOUGHT I CAME TO SEE THE DOCTOR BECAUSE I WAS SOME SORT OF DRUG ADDICT; NO WONDER I WROTE SOME NONSENSE ON A NEWSPAPER THAT EVERYONE UNINTENTIONALLY SAW WHILE SCRATCHING MY CHEST THE ENTIRE TIME. haha

Hopefully my return to the hospital on Monday will be much more pleasant. 

Thanks for reading y'all..... ONE LOVE 👍

"SmaRT" is the new "SEXY"

"EVERYONE can be beautiful and being beautiful is a plus, but the edge one has over the other comes from inside, it could be intelligence, and because intelligence lasts, smart is sexier. Its the new sexy"....yes it sounds soo Oprah but it's not, it's from Adel Tamano, a Filipino politician. Who guessed that? 

So my question is, "Wouldn't you love that your man will answer or will at least include "because she is smart" rather than "because she has a hot body", if he is asked why he loves and wants to be with you?". I would, because at least my intelligence wouldn't fall off and become wrinkly and saggy like my 95 year old grandma, whom I love dearly. Knowledge is Lasting, plus physical attributes doesn't really count in a lasting relationship. I believe your 50-year old Dad doesn't still rush home because your 45-year old Mum's body is so 'fly' he can't wait to see her. He probably hasn't seen her shirtless for years, and that's not by accident, trust me. Point is, how 'hot' you look only goes as far, but its actually what you bring to the table in terms of intellect ; advice, ideas, opinions, personality, conversation, and as well financial assistance that defines you and keeps you going in any long-term relationship, like marriage.

It's a fact that, every woman eventually wants to end up with a responsible man; with a good job and well enough to take care and protect a home. Well, research says that "Smart men with demanding and professional jobs rather marry and settle with old fashioned women, like their mums and grandma's". Oh don't get it wrong, Old Fashioned here doesn't mean she can't work a TV remote. In this context, it means, calm, collective, respectful and educated, contrary to what lots of our young women want to become these days, unfortunately.

Don't misunderstand, intelligence goes further than just degrees (but it doesn't hurt to get one tho). Its in your essence and how you conduct yourself. Ladies don't have the liberty to conduct themselves anyhow as men do, especially publicly. How one conducts herself easily defines what kind of woman one is. Believe it or not, it's these conducts that makes a person even interested in wanting to start a any kind of relationship with you, be it friendship or otherwise.

Contrary to popular belief, smart girls are most fun. With them, it doesn't always have to be "when are we hitting the club?, what are you doing this weekend or lets go shopping ?". Have you ever sat with a girl who misunderstood all your jokes and another girl got them all ? If you have, you can relate to this. Smart, intelligent girls in my opinion are more fun to be around. One can actually hold a reasonable conversation with them in all aspects of life, and we all know one never forgets a fun conversation, especially with a girl. Having this same chat with my friend Professor Vessen, he said "It so refreshing to meet a woman with a brain". Well that says it all. Even professors can't get enough. 😎

To conclude, a tight body, slutty looking clothes, pinned and a colored face can only get you as far as 30 years if you are lucky. Funny thing, life actually starts from 30. Intelligence goes farther, no one can take that away from you and most of all, its a turn on. so GET A BOOK DAMMIT !!

Michelle Obama - First Lady of the United States of America

Oprah Winfrey - The most powerful, richest and influential woman

Tina Fey - actress, writer, producer of the Emmy winning "30 Rock" show. Classified as "the sex symbol of the thinking man"

Tyra Banks - host of an Emmy winning TV show "TYRA SHOW", ex-supermodel and has enrolled in Harvard Business school.

Sarah Palin - 9TH Governor of Alaska, Vice presidential candidate, Republican party 2008.

Thanks for reading y'all..... ONE LOVE.

STANDARDS are great !!! BUT......

So I stumbled unto an episode of the Oprah Show where these two ladies had lists of standards for a partner. This was one lady's list "Black man, 6'2, athletic body, 230 pounds, straight white teeth (all 32), God fearing, Attends service regularly, Millionaire, Sense of humor, Ambitious, Generous, family oriented, sports spectator but not fanatic, has friends but also independent, Nice, sincere and generous, faithful and honest, determined to make our love and romance last, adventurous, sexually compatible, educated and intelligent, home-owner, can dance or willing to learn, wants to marry, loves to travel, entertaining, romantic, nice shoes, respects all women, clean and tidy, wants at least 2 children, healthy and spontaneous, loves to cook, drug free."
The other girl had similar points but this was really the eye-catcher for me, she said "willing and able to bring me to ORGASM both sexually and ORALLY". 

I say these women are looking for THE LORD....what do y'all say?................Well, welcome to yet another discussion !!!

So this piece is about standards. I believe every person has what he/she looks for in a partner. In Ghana for example, I believe every guy has heard these infamous words from a female "Tall, dark and handsome". These are words a lot of girls say when they talk about physical attributes they want in a man. I am NOT tall so I'm probably a hater, that's just for the record.

Personally I believe standards are GREAT to have, especially for a lady. Its good to have your own and also look for a match in other people so you don't settle for less. Honestly, a real man respects a woman with a standard because that tells us that you know what you are worth and you expect to be treated with love and care as a woman should.

The problem is, a lot of women are not willing to be what they want a guy to be for them. In the list you saw earlier, this one girl wanted a man that could get her to climax both orally and sexually. Hey!! if that's your standard, I am fine with that, but my question is " CAN YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING FOR THE MAN ?". If you can, I wish you luck in finding 'the LORD', but if you cannot, then check that out of your list madam.

The point is, you cannot get what you want without making sacrifices. You've got to give something to get something. Say you want a millionaire, as one girl stated in her list, thing is "Do you know what a millionaire guy wants" ?. If you are ready to be that for him, then you can keep that in the list and go looking for one. I don't know if you guys watch the reality TV show "Basketball wives", if you do, you would understand what is takes to be a wife of a millionaire athlete. These women know their husbands cheat on them but they cannot say a word. They sit at home while their men move from city to city playing basketball. That's what pays the bills and enable these women to look good each passing hour, shopping and spending lavishly. The risk to that is, they probably have to share their men with a thousand other women. Are you ready to commit to that ? Well if you are, go look for an athlete, if not, please check that off your list and look for a guy with a 9 to 5 job... POINT BLANK !!

With that being said, Lists or standards are great to have and everyone should have them. But in order to be realistic in finding what you want, you've got to be able to put yourself in others shoes. These ladies I mentioned earlier were 37 and 32 years old respectively, wondering why they hadn't met the men of their dreams. That's just because they are looking for something that doesn't exist and to notice that and make reasonable choices, one has to be able to see themselves achieving those same standards they set out for the other partner.

Thanks for reading y'all....Deuces ✌✌ !!

A COMPLIMENT, TAKE IT AS SUCH !!

"I just saw the Facebook update on people who just changed their profile pictures and i saw yours.. Well, we r not that close and i am not good at holding back but ur new profile pix is OFF THE  CHAIN.........seriously, ITS HOLLYWOOD HOTTT. hope u not offended tho".......Yes, this was an inbox message i sent a girl who had uploaded a really nice profile picture. All i wanted to say was "YOU LOOK PRETTY in your pix". Even though she responded nicely. I went through so much trouble just trying to say those words.

  

SO WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR GUYS TO GIVE GENUINE COMPLIMENTS TO LADIES THESE DAYS?  Well, welcome to yet another discussion :))

Women long for compliments, however a lot of women think a guy who gives them a compliment is a pervert or has an ulterior motive which might make her react inappropriately towards him. In my opinion, these days women are missing out on being appreciated and men are missing out on being able to voice their appreciation towards a woman.

Some ladies take compliments the opposite way which deters men from even wanting to compliment on the way they look. Tell her that her outfit is great, she responds "What! this old dress". Tell her she looks good, she responds "You mean I look fat, don't I". Say she looks pretty with her new hairstyle, she responds "So i looked ugly in the old one, right". A lot of the time, we feel better not saying anything at all.

 Men live in terror of having their heads bitten off for articulating what they are immediately thinking about a woman's outlook, even in a polite way. It doesn't take an hour to notice if a lady got on some nice looking shoes or if her dress is cute, but it takes more than an hour to decide if you want to let her know or if you rather keep it to yourself for fear of being 'criminalized'.

Ironically, sexism is really destructive. That rude comment about a lady's looks can undermine her confidence and do a lot of damage to her self-esteem. From the guys point of view, it doesn't make sense to be insulted for being nice, rather opt for getting insulted for being rude. At least that plays out fairly. Even though it's NOT right, you can't help admit that they have a point :(

I believe every man should learn to say sweet things to a woman, especially when it comes to commenting on how they look because women take their time to look like what they look. Why should it be difficult to smile and tell a woman "your dress is awesome" and move on. Believe me, that will be the highlight of her day. A "thank you" with a return smile from the lady would even be better. And that's how its supposed to be.

Oh yeah, one more thing,  i couldn't help notice that a lot of ladies now reply "I KNOW" when one gives them a good remark. You might not notice, but that is the rudest response you can ever give for a compliment, so please deter from that. At least I know my boys Kofi and Nana are still mad from hearing those words. haha

Thanks for reading y'all.......One Love

Ease up on FACEBOOK

sup y'all

I believe social networks like Facebook is just where one can have some fun and also reminisce on good old days with friends near and far and I believe that is the purpose of its invention.

SO WHATS WITH ALL THE DRAMA ON FACEBOOK ?

A lot of people have bitter experiences on Facebook. I have a couple of crazy ones myself. I wanted to list a number of them which would have taken up a lot of space and I didn't want to bore you guys so I will literally just run through a couple of them without the usual bullets.

So about a week ago, I posted a funny comment on my friends wall. I received a comment soon after and it was his GIRLFRIEND who had written some very very harsh stuff to me about writing "that" on MY FRIENDS wall. First of all, his girlfriend and I have never met so we don't know each other. So my guess is, this girl doesn't even know who I am. I could probably be really close to him or even a relative. In my books, a girl like that wouldn't last five minutes because clearly, she lacks sense of humor and is REALLY rude but I guess that isn't my decision. And yes my post got deleted from him page eventually.

Now, another friend had to block all her female friends just because his girlfriend didn't like any of them sending him messages or commenting on his pictures. It got so serious to a point where she actually sent messages to all those lady friends, telling them not to communicate with him anymore because they were the reason their relationship wasn't working. That wasn't all, she called all the girls "BIT**S" as well in her message. Who blames a bad relationship on Facebook ? Oh, I almost forgot the interesting part, they broke up and now dude has to call all these girls and try to reconnect. Damn!

Well, bottom line is people take minor things too seriously. Life is stressed up enough already with school, work, family, relationships.... etc for there to be more drama on a social media where one should be able to laugh things off on peoples status updates, comments, pictures..etc. Moreover, people are "addicted" to Facebook not because they choose to but because its a great feeling to be present among friends and family where one can chat and discuss things one cannot usually do anywhere else. Hence we need to make this "place" fun and just go easy on there. After all, people are just making billions off of us anyway, so why stress it.

Thanks for reading y'all..... Peace ✌✌