A Day at the Doctor's !!

NOT my usual subject line but a couple of funny incidents at the hospital made me draw a pen and paper in the waiting room. 

I haven't been able to hear clearly with my right ear after some water got into it while taking a shower. This had caused tremendous amount of pain days before, so I decided to get it looked at at the hospital, perhaps an infection might be surfacing.

So there are a couple of people there and service was moving sort of slow. Funny thing was that, white people usually show facial distress than verbal unlike black people. So this dude sitting opposite me, I believe, had really terrible pain and was feeling really distressed. He kept looking straight at me and his facial expression was so funny that I started giggling. I looked elsewhere since I didn't want to get him offended. Believe me, the last thing you want in another man's land is to tease him while he is in pain. 

I changed seats since I couldn't help it. Couple of minutes later, this old lady and her pretty daughter come to sit opposite me in my new area, and I keep sneaking peeps at her daughter and I see her doing the same. Who wouldn't sneak a peek at this fine chocolate girl. The lady stands up and tries to show her daughter through the glass window that there is a stranger standing beside her car. She tries for a couple of minutes and her daughter is not noticing. The young girl now finds it funny, turns to me and smiles. The old lady then decides to step outside and have a closer look. While gone, I wrote this on a newspaper that I planned to give her daughter "Dont worry, that's just old people, they always see things nobody else sees, just like my Mum. lol "
There were a number of people around us so I couldn't give it to her right away. Just as I was going to hand it to her, her Mum popped up and I left the paper on the coffee table sitting between us. I go to the washroom, come back and realize some dude reading the newspaper I had written on. He saw me sit down, looked at me and starting smiling. "Damn, this dude has seen my note" I thought. Of course I acted like I didn't know anything about it.  So he finishes going through the newspaper and passes it on to the old lady. She flips the page and sees what I had written. Mind you, I wrote in English, this is Sweden, so obviously, a foreigner might have written this. Looking around the table, I was the only black dude amidst all white Swedish people so it was likely me. I still kept a mean face like I had no idea what had went down.

This doctor, probably from somewhere in the middle east, kept saying everybody's name wrongly. He mentioned all names the same, so people had to crosscheck their names on his paper before they went in. He comes to call me and I feel like I have been saved by the bell. He speaks to me in Swedish in front of everyone and I respond in English. Right after I did, I realized my cover had been blown, so I entered his office with my head down in shame. I tell him my problem and he tells me to follow him to the "Ear Ward". We get there, tells me to take off my shoes and get on the bed. This doctor starts looking for some ear device; turning things around and opening drawers. He tells me he cannot find the device he is looking for so I should follow him to the next ward to check. So we go through 3 other wards and it's nowhere to be found. He makes me follow him back to his office, lets me lay down and he picks this sharp pointed tool which was a little rusty. I knew I didn't have to be a doctor to know he was going to stick some inappropriate tool in my ear. I politely asked if that was the tool he was looking for and he said "This is gonna work too". So I nervously laid back while he stuck this tool in my ear. I tell y'all, this thing hurt so badly I quickly got up and told him I felt uncomfortable. He then wrote for me a prescription medicine to buy in the pharmacy, apologized for being unprofessional and told me to come back and see him on Monday. I forgot to ask him if I were going to pay for consultation again, perhaps we will discuss that on Monday, I thought. He better say NO before I sue him and make him lose his license. 😅

So I got out and realized the old lady, her daughter and everyone else around our table staring dead in my eye, but the dude who passed the paper on to the old lady was smiling at me. I fearfully squeezed a quick smile at them and rushed out of the hospital. I didn't even take the elevator. I descended 7 floors without breaking a sweat,  that was how nervous I was. 

So that was my bitter-sweet day at the doctor's. I left out a couple of stuff just to keep this short, like this little Somali baby who gave his Mum hell in the waiting room. His rebellion actually incited the other calm white babies to start rebelling too. Together they tore the whole place up. Amidst all this distress, I was scratching like a junkie because my chest hair which I had shaved about week ago had starting growing back and was really itchy. MY GUESS IS, THESE PEOPLE THOUGHT I CAME TO SEE THE DOCTOR BECAUSE I WAS SOME SORT OF DRUG ADDICT; NO WONDER I WROTE SOME NONSENSE ON A NEWSPAPER THAT EVERYONE UNINTENTIONALLY SAW WHILE SCRATCHING MY CHEST THE ENTIRE TIME. haha

Hopefully my return to the hospital on Monday will be much more pleasant. 

Thanks for reading y'all..... ONE LOVE 👍

"SmaRT" is the new "SEXY"

"EVERYONE can be beautiful and being beautiful is a plus, but the edge one has over the other comes from inside, it could be intelligence, and because intelligence lasts, smart is sexier. Its the new sexy"....yes it sounds soo Oprah but it's not, it's from Adel Tamano, a Filipino politician. Who guessed that? 

So my question is, "Wouldn't you love that your man will answer or will at least include "because she is smart" rather than "because she has a hot body", if he is asked why he loves and wants to be with you?". I would, because at least my intelligence wouldn't fall off and become wrinkly and saggy like my 95 year old grandma, whom I love dearly. Knowledge is Lasting, plus physical attributes doesn't really count in a lasting relationship. I believe your 50-year old Dad doesn't still rush home because your 45-year old Mum's body is so 'fly' he can't wait to see her. He probably hasn't seen her shirtless for years, and that's not by accident, trust me. Point is, how 'hot' you look only goes as far, but its actually what you bring to the table in terms of intellect ; advice, ideas, opinions, personality, conversation, and as well financial assistance that defines you and keeps you going in any long-term relationship, like marriage.

It's a fact that, every woman eventually wants to end up with a responsible man; with a good job and well enough to take care and protect a home. Well, research says that "Smart men with demanding and professional jobs rather marry and settle with old fashioned women, like their mums and grandma's". Oh don't get it wrong, Old Fashioned here doesn't mean she can't work a TV remote. In this context, it means, calm, collective, respectful and educated, contrary to what lots of our young women want to become these days, unfortunately.

Don't misunderstand, intelligence goes further than just degrees (but it doesn't hurt to get one tho). Its in your essence and how you conduct yourself. Ladies don't have the liberty to conduct themselves anyhow as men do, especially publicly. How one conducts herself easily defines what kind of woman one is. Believe it or not, it's these conducts that makes a person even interested in wanting to start a any kind of relationship with you, be it friendship or otherwise.

Contrary to popular belief, smart girls are most fun. With them, it doesn't always have to be "when are we hitting the club?, what are you doing this weekend or lets go shopping ?". Have you ever sat with a girl who misunderstood all your jokes and another girl got them all ? If you have, you can relate to this. Smart, intelligent girls in my opinion are more fun to be around. One can actually hold a reasonable conversation with them in all aspects of life, and we all know one never forgets a fun conversation, especially with a girl. Having this same chat with my friend Professor Vessen, he said "It so refreshing to meet a woman with a brain". Well that says it all. Even professors can't get enough. 😎

To conclude, a tight body, slutty looking clothes, pinned and a colored face can only get you as far as 30 years if you are lucky. Funny thing, life actually starts from 30. Intelligence goes farther, no one can take that away from you and most of all, its a turn on. so GET A BOOK DAMMIT !!

Michelle Obama - First Lady of the United States of America

Oprah Winfrey - The most powerful, richest and influential woman

Tina Fey - actress, writer, producer of the Emmy winning "30 Rock" show. Classified as "the sex symbol of the thinking man"

Tyra Banks - host of an Emmy winning TV show "TYRA SHOW", ex-supermodel and has enrolled in Harvard Business school.

Sarah Palin - 9TH Governor of Alaska, Vice presidential candidate, Republican party 2008.

Thanks for reading y'all..... ONE LOVE.

STANDARDS are great !!! BUT......

So I stumbled unto an episode of the Oprah Show where these two ladies had lists of standards for a partner. This was one lady's list "Black man, 6'2, athletic body, 230 pounds, straight white teeth (all 32), God fearing, Attends service regularly, Millionaire, Sense of humor, Ambitious, Generous, family oriented, sports spectator but not fanatic, has friends but also independent, Nice, sincere and generous, faithful and honest, determined to make our love and romance last, adventurous, sexually compatible, educated and intelligent, home-owner, can dance or willing to learn, wants to marry, loves to travel, entertaining, romantic, nice shoes, respects all women, clean and tidy, wants at least 2 children, healthy and spontaneous, loves to cook, drug free."
The other girl had similar points but this was really the eye-catcher for me, she said "willing and able to bring me to ORGASM both sexually and ORALLY". 

I say these women are looking for THE LORD....what do y'all say?................Well, welcome to yet another discussion !!!

So this piece is about standards. I believe every person has what he/she looks for in a partner. In Ghana for example, I believe every guy has heard these infamous words from a female "Tall, dark and handsome". These are words a lot of girls say when they talk about physical attributes they want in a man. I am NOT tall so I'm probably a hater, that's just for the record.

Personally I believe standards are GREAT to have, especially for a lady. Its good to have your own and also look for a match in other people so you don't settle for less. Honestly, a real man respects a woman with a standard because that tells us that you know what you are worth and you expect to be treated with love and care as a woman should.

The problem is, a lot of women are not willing to be what they want a guy to be for them. In the list you saw earlier, this one girl wanted a man that could get her to climax both orally and sexually. Hey!! if that's your standard, I am fine with that, but my question is " CAN YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING FOR THE MAN ?". If you can, I wish you luck in finding 'the LORD', but if you cannot, then check that out of your list madam.

The point is, you cannot get what you want without making sacrifices. You've got to give something to get something. Say you want a millionaire, as one girl stated in her list, thing is "Do you know what a millionaire guy wants" ?. If you are ready to be that for him, then you can keep that in the list and go looking for one. I don't know if you guys watch the reality TV show "Basketball wives", if you do, you would understand what is takes to be a wife of a millionaire athlete. These women know their husbands cheat on them but they cannot say a word. They sit at home while their men move from city to city playing basketball. That's what pays the bills and enable these women to look good each passing hour, shopping and spending lavishly. The risk to that is, they probably have to share their men with a thousand other women. Are you ready to commit to that ? Well if you are, go look for an athlete, if not, please check that off your list and look for a guy with a 9 to 5 job... POINT BLANK !!

With that being said, Lists or standards are great to have and everyone should have them. But in order to be realistic in finding what you want, you've got to be able to put yourself in others shoes. These ladies I mentioned earlier were 37 and 32 years old respectively, wondering why they hadn't met the men of their dreams. That's just because they are looking for something that doesn't exist and to notice that and make reasonable choices, one has to be able to see themselves achieving those same standards they set out for the other partner.

Thanks for reading y'all....Deuces ✌✌ !!

A COMPLIMENT, TAKE IT AS SUCH !!

"I just saw the Facebook update on people who just changed their profile pictures and i saw yours.. Well, we r not that close and i am not good at holding back but ur new profile pix is OFF THE  CHAIN.........seriously, ITS HOLLYWOOD HOTTT. hope u not offended tho".......Yes, this was an inbox message i sent a girl who had uploaded a really nice profile picture. All i wanted to say was "YOU LOOK PRETTY in your pix". Even though she responded nicely. I went through so much trouble just trying to say those words.

  

SO WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR GUYS TO GIVE GENUINE COMPLIMENTS TO LADIES THESE DAYS?  Well, welcome to yet another discussion :))

Women long for compliments, however a lot of women think a guy who gives them a compliment is a pervert or has an ulterior motive which might make her react inappropriately towards him. In my opinion, these days women are missing out on being appreciated and men are missing out on being able to voice their appreciation towards a woman.

Some ladies take compliments the opposite way which deters men from even wanting to compliment on the way they look. Tell her that her outfit is great, she responds "What! this old dress". Tell her she looks good, she responds "You mean I look fat, don't I". Say she looks pretty with her new hairstyle, she responds "So i looked ugly in the old one, right". A lot of the time, we feel better not saying anything at all.

 Men live in terror of having their heads bitten off for articulating what they are immediately thinking about a woman's outlook, even in a polite way. It doesn't take an hour to notice if a lady got on some nice looking shoes or if her dress is cute, but it takes more than an hour to decide if you want to let her know or if you rather keep it to yourself for fear of being 'criminalized'.

Ironically, sexism is really destructive. That rude comment about a lady's looks can undermine her confidence and do a lot of damage to her self-esteem. From the guys point of view, it doesn't make sense to be insulted for being nice, rather opt for getting insulted for being rude. At least that plays out fairly. Even though it's NOT right, you can't help admit that they have a point :(

I believe every man should learn to say sweet things to a woman, especially when it comes to commenting on how they look because women take their time to look like what they look. Why should it be difficult to smile and tell a woman "your dress is awesome" and move on. Believe me, that will be the highlight of her day. A "thank you" with a return smile from the lady would even be better. And that's how its supposed to be.

Oh yeah, one more thing,  i couldn't help notice that a lot of ladies now reply "I KNOW" when one gives them a good remark. You might not notice, but that is the rudest response you can ever give for a compliment, so please deter from that. At least I know my boys Kofi and Nana are still mad from hearing those words. haha

Thanks for reading y'all.......One Love

Ease up on FACEBOOK

sup y'all

I believe social networks like Facebook is just where one can have some fun and also reminisce on good old days with friends near and far and I believe that is the purpose of its invention.

SO WHATS WITH ALL THE DRAMA ON FACEBOOK ?

A lot of people have bitter experiences on Facebook. I have a couple of crazy ones myself. I wanted to list a number of them which would have taken up a lot of space and I didn't want to bore you guys so I will literally just run through a couple of them without the usual bullets.

So about a week ago, I posted a funny comment on my friends wall. I received a comment soon after and it was his GIRLFRIEND who had written some very very harsh stuff to me about writing "that" on MY FRIENDS wall. First of all, his girlfriend and I have never met so we don't know each other. So my guess is, this girl doesn't even know who I am. I could probably be really close to him or even a relative. In my books, a girl like that wouldn't last five minutes because clearly, she lacks sense of humor and is REALLY rude but I guess that isn't my decision. And yes my post got deleted from him page eventually.

Now, another friend had to block all her female friends just because his girlfriend didn't like any of them sending him messages or commenting on his pictures. It got so serious to a point where she actually sent messages to all those lady friends, telling them not to communicate with him anymore because they were the reason their relationship wasn't working. That wasn't all, she called all the girls "BIT**S" as well in her message. Who blames a bad relationship on Facebook ? Oh, I almost forgot the interesting part, they broke up and now dude has to call all these girls and try to reconnect. Damn!

Well, bottom line is people take minor things too seriously. Life is stressed up enough already with school, work, family, relationships.... etc for there to be more drama on a social media where one should be able to laugh things off on peoples status updates, comments, pictures..etc. Moreover, people are "addicted" to Facebook not because they choose to but because its a great feeling to be present among friends and family where one can chat and discuss things one cannot usually do anywhere else. Hence we need to make this "place" fun and just go easy on there. After all, people are just making billions off of us anyway, so why stress it.

Thanks for reading y'all..... Peace ✌✌

THE RETURN (to the ex)

sup y'all

So I had a couple of things on my mind I wanted to write about this week but I chose to write this piece on EXes because it was the most recent thing I had experienced prior to writing this, so why not write that first.
This is something that actually happens to a lot of people. Almost every guy or girl has heard the words "dont worry, she/he will come back".

So why do ladies want a return to the guy they broke up with in the first place? well that is the million dollar question. The quickest answer that might pop up in ones head is probably "because she loves him" and the quickest response one would think about is "then why did she leave him in the first place".

Well, I think there a lot of angles one can look at this. But firstly, let me quote this from an episode of the hit TV show, THE GOOD WIFE, for those of you who watch or might want to watch, it was something one character, Alicia Florrick, said in one episode where she had seen her ex-boyfriend from college and good old memories started surfacing. A colleague of hers noticing this, told her to go back to this guy since her marriage was on rocky grounds anyway. Alicia responded "It looks romantic and perfect because its not happening". These few words resonated with me a lot since it has in-dept meaning to it. This brings me to my first point.

• As humans, we tend to always remember the good things about a place even if it was the harshest place ever. Once we make it out from a tough time or place to a better one, we always remember the older times for its good memories not necessarily the bad. This ability to forget some pain and hurt is one of the best gifts humans possess. With that being said, i believe this happens in relationships too and as most men will know, women always want to compare past relationships with the present and wish they could go back to enjoy the same things they had enjoyed in a past relationship, especially if they are not getting the EXACT same pleasures in the current one . Women like adventure and personally, I think the thought of adventure is always fun until you actually experience it, then you realize its not as much fun as u thought it would. At least Aron from the movie 127 HOURS will agree. haha

• This point is just point-blank truth and I know some of the ladies who might read this will agree and some of you will probably be pissed.. but hey it is what it is. Ladies just hate to see their ex's happy with another girl, especially if the girl is prettier. That's just in your DNA ladies, sorry. Personally I think its the same reason girls always want be the ones to end a relationship. For some reason, it makes sense to them who broke it off. Breakup is breakup ladies, regardless of who said the words, and this can be tied to my very next point.

• I hate to say this but I think women are somewhat selfish (and I mean that in both ways, good and bad). That is how God made you. That is to my people who believe in God. So if you don't, just replace "God" with whatever you believe in, i.e, "moon", "universe", or whatever people believe in these days". Women always want ALL of a man, i.e, money, time, energy...etc. You cannot even be closer to your mum than your girl these days. True story, one girl said " I want you to love me so much that you cannot breathe without me " and she really thought whoever she said it to could do that ? haha. Well of course the guy responded "Yes" just to keep the peace between them. So point is, no woman wants another woman to enjoy what she is enjoying with a man or has enjoyed with a man. That's how come your girl has NEVER being good friends with any of your exes. I bet you are thinking right now... "yeahhhh he is right". Yep, I know

• This point is possibly the most important to me. From the words of my favorite comedian STEVE HARVEY who wrote a New York Times best selling book "ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN", he said "A lot of women have had good men and not know it". Personally, i think the idea of a good man to a woman is over-emphasized. It means your idea of what a good man should be may not exactly be what it actually is. So true story, I overheard my mum talk to my sister when she was going to get married, she said to her " A good man is a man who has a some fear in God and is kind to you and generous ". As a young boy, I thought to myself  "wow, is that all mum is saying to sis". As a little older man now, I realized that was the best advice she could have given her. That simply means that you can never find the whole package in any one person, and I guess for her, a kind and God fearing man is what is getting her through, now, 35 years of a marriage. So point is, be content with the who your partner is and what he has because you never know, you might even be lucky he still comes home and kisses you goodnight. Somebody else is just craving for a goodnight and not getting it. I guess what I am saying is, some women leave guys for the wrong reasons, then go out to test-the-waters and realize the waters are not that sweet and later want to make that bullshit-ass-comeback. The same situation happens with men too.

Now let me hit on this subject really quickly. Fellows !! have you noticed that your girl never talks good about her ex. I mean NEVER. NOT ONCE. All they do is bash and condemn them to you, and we really don't want to hear it but since it makes them feel good, we just have to listen and act like we care. So true story, me, my boy, and his girlfriend were hanging out one time. The whole time she was talking about her ex and saying all humiliating stories about him that we shouldn't even be knowing about. 3 days after breaking up with my friend, I saw her write this on her ex's Facebook profile page (this is no joke),  she said "Why did I let you go, I will never find anybody who will love me like you did" and this was the first of many messages. WOW !! you can imagine how shocked we were to see this. So please ladies, the ex bashing to your man is played out and we don't even want to hear it plus we know you will do the same to us if the unfortunate happens. As the saying goes, if you can't speak good about a person, just shut up about them.

That notwithstanding, people make mistakes in relationships and sometimes things don't work out for the right reasons. That's cool but I think its better to always keep a healthy relationship with people you come across. Moreover, its always easy to make the "bullshit-ass-comeback" 😅😅

ENJOY READING.....One Luv 💃

SENSE OF HUMOR (SOH)

hey y'all

This particular topic, Sense of Humor (SOH), is very personal & passionate to me and it has being on my mind for quite sometime now so I guess i have to say "Thank God for blogs" because I now have a platform to share.

Being a person with quite a good sense of humor. I realise a lot of people have this quality, while a large of number of people also do not, understandably so, and THAT'S WHERE THE PROBLEM is!!
I think SOH is innate, its not really something one can literally learn but its definitely something one can perfect or improve.

Personally, I think I get mine from my Dad who is really humorous, which gets on my nerves sometimes, as ironic as that sounds. Being a person who loves stand-up comedy, I kinda enhance my SOH with watching comedy and with anything I watch and listen to: a movie, a song or regular conversation with people.

NOW this blog is actually not to talk about my SOH but to help others without it have a better understanding to what it is and hopefully help them enhance what is already innately in them, i.e., HUMOR, which I believe everyone has.
I actually chose to do this piece on SOH because of the trouble it has caused a lot of people including myself, when someone doesn't comprehend your SOH and takes it offensive. This indeed is a common thing that any "funny" person experiences, where listeners or readers cannot connect the dots in a joke or take things too personally.

Depending what kinda sex you are, this problem is usually frequent with the opposite sex. My own issues with my SOH is nothing to be underestimated, especially on our very own addictive-drug called FACEBOOK. The toughest repercussion I have had to incur was being removed from this girl's friend list. Other minor ones include, non-responding chats, angry-status-comments...etc and some requested that I apologize to be reconsidered as a Facebook friend...3y3 as3m oo. 👅
In my opinion, I think its because people take themselves way too seriously totally unnecessary (that will be another discussion for another day).

Wondering why this is so, I came across some pointers that might help people and all of us really enhance our SOH. Going through them, I noticed these are exactly things you realize about people who have amazing sense of humor. Here we go !!

• You gotta learn the art of smiling. Life is easier, healthier and better when laughter is frequent.

• Treat yourself with comedy. I call this comedy-hollywood. It could be stand-up comedy or funny movies or anything that makes you laugh, because these funny moments in these movies are actually things that happen in real life. Hence it enables you see the humor in some real life events that you would normally frown upon. Here is an example..."About a year ago, we lost power in our house in Gothenburg because our landlady had forgotten to pay the light bill. This went on for a couple of weeks until me and my boy Teddy's "hood life" kicked in. We took about 4 extensions, connected them to some external sockets on our corridor of our apartment buidling and had some light in our room. Our landlady came at night and saw the long cable extensions from the corridor and flipped out. I mean she was so mad she wanted to kick us out of the apartment. She was scared of what her neighbors might think, but changed her mind becauase I guess she needed the rent money. A few days after, we watched this comedy by Eddie Griffin talking about differences between white folks and black folks and cited this EXACT example, He said "when a black dude loses power, he just connects his extensions to his neighbors and probably subsidizes his neighbors light bills for the month, while a white person will likely get depressed over it and commit suicide". that was just a funny bit but we realized it was exactly what had happened in our situation. From then onward, the incident became funny as hell, even though it was really serious the first couple of days.

• Find humor in embarrassing moments because I believe every embarrassing moment is funny. Why do you think your friends laugh at your embarrassing moments? You just have see past the embarrassment and enjoy the humor in it. Its healing. So another true story: Still in Gothenburg, I enter the washroom at school, right. I was in so much hurry to use it I forgot to lock the door behind me. This girl in my class entered and saw me with my pants down and everything. Y'all should have seen the look on her face. I still don't know if she smiled because she liked what she saw or didn't. Me and my boys laugh at this incident all the time even though its was really embarrassing, but hey LIFE GOES ON. 

• When you think someone is trying offend you, always respond with humor first. That's the only way you can determine if the person is actually trying be offensive or if he's just being funny. More importantly, it's the best way to disarm a person who indeed is trying to be offensive. You cant laugh at a person who laughs at himself. Got it ?

One personal thing I realized about people with great sense of humor is that: They do not hold back what they really want to say. Thinking too much and trying to find out if your every word is going to offend someone is just a recipe for disaster, plus it doesn't make for great conversation. I believe funny is funny and a joke is a joke, be it religious, racial...etc. Personally, I think racial jokes are the best. I use them all the time and that doesn't make me racist.

Having great sense of humor is all about TIMING. You've got to know when to say things. SO Ladies and Gentlemen, get your funny on. Aside all the aforementioned positives, it also scores the most points with the guys and girls respectively. Every girl wants a funny guy and vice-versa.

"TWO KINDS OF MEN HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH GETTING WOMEN, ONE IS A FUNNY MAN AND ONE IS A DANGEROUS MAN, BECAUSE WOMEN WANNA LAUGH OR FEEL PROTECTED".........words from an old head.

Since being funny doesn't end with Jail time like being dangerous, that is your best bet. Lol

THANKS FOR READING. ONE LOVE 👊👊!!