When to Move On.....

Every man or woman's commitment expectation is different. But whatever commitment means to you, whether marriage, verbal assurances, or whatever it might be for you, it just doesn't happen just because you've been with somebody for a period of time and things "naturally" progress into a committed relationship.

What usually happens is that, one partner finds himself/herself feeling committed but doesn't sense the same level of commitment from their partner. Getting the person who doesn't seem ready to commit to commit is probably the most difficult thing to do, if not impossible.

After over a year without blogging (no fault of mine), why did I choose to write about this ?? Well I was inspired by a text message I received last night from my friend's girlfriend. Here is a little bit of the conversation that transpired. I did some little editing so as not to reveal any real names. The names I have used are just fictional. Here we go !!

HER: hey Sani, how r u ?
ME: Not bad, u ?
HER: Is Mike seeing anyone ?
ME: I really dont know to be honest.
HER. When you went to the party, did you see him with a girl ?
ME: Naa I didn't. Just saw him briefly, plus he left a little early.
HER: I just called him now and he said he was outside with a girl and then he hung up.
ME: He hung up ? u sure ?, it doesn't sound like him.
HER: Yea, I asked him what he was doing and he said he'll call me back and he hung up. I called him again and he didn't pick up. He said he was with a friend, I asked him which one and he just said I didn't know him.
ME: Maybe it's nothing, you know Mike likes to go out sometimes and its a holiday today. I can call him now and talk to him if you want me to.
HER: He is with a girl and he wouldn't talk to me?? I'm not stupid, my heart is in pain. Yeah, please call him.
ME: I just did. he didn't pick up either. Don't worry too much. At least he didn't lie, he could have said he was at home sleeping or som'n
HER: I think I just caught him off guard. He didn't want to tell me anything but I kept asking him questions. I have trusted the WRONG PERSON. I thought he would never do something like this to me. Sorry for talking about this. I just needed to talk to someone.
ME: Ok honestly, I think you shouldn't go looking for stuff cos you'll find something. Just take it easy. I don't see him except on weekends when we play football together. I'm sure he has made some new friends but that doesn't mean he's dating any of them, or it could be. Who knows ? But ultimately its up to you to make a decision if u gonna to stick around or move on based on what kind of future you have together. For us guys, we will keep a girl around even if we don't want her just because, that's how we are sometimes. So its up to the female to figure out if its in her best interest or not. Maybe you guys have to talk and figure stuff out.
HER: Thanks, what you said makes a lot of sense. But you know I don't like to be a fool, I don't like to be lied to, I want no games. Anyway, thanks a lot. Take care friend.

That's the conversation that sparked this post. Before the guys out there think I was "dry snitching". This is how complicated my friend and this girls relationship is. So my friend is in the same city as me and this girl who used to be here is currently residing in another country. Fact is, my friend doesn't want the relationship to go on but he's scared to tell the girl because she might do something crazy. She already threatened to leave whatever she is doing and fly down if she doesn't hear from him in 10 days so they are in CONSTANT communications. By this, I mean the "where are u, what are u doing" kind of conversation. This dude, my friend, "Mike", cannot take it and wants to get out. 

Here is the catch though, he has deep feelings for this girl and the girl is a really good girl, he says it himself, but HE IS JUST NOT READY WHATSOEVER TO TAKE IT WHERE SHE WANTS TO ..........A FUTURE, A MARRIAGE, MAYBE A BABY. None of that.

Well let me say this, some men and women may be tempted to get on board or get out, but this usually doesn't work because people in general resent being forced to abandon their position and are likely to leave or undermine the relationship. Just as you cannot insist someone to love you back when you love them. To insist or try to force commitment is to court unhappiness, pain and a broken heart. So the question is, WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU ARE READY FOR "COMMITMENT" AND THE OTHER PARTY IS NOT ??

In my opinion, there is no fast way for when a relationship should move on from one stage to another, but if your relationship has being "stagnant" for sometime and things aren't moving forward, then its time to address it. By that I mean; evaluate the relationship's commitment potential. There is definitely a reason why commitment hasn't been brought up in your discussions. What is the other person worried about, what does he/she fear about committing or settling with you. Most men/women have good reasons for resisting commitment. Most men are very conscious about why they don't want to commit but their partners usually have no idea at all. There could be a lot reasons. For example in "Mike's" situation, he just doesn't want to settle just because, he tells me, he wants to play the field a little bit more and he doesn't see the point in settling with his girl, but the girl has no idea at all about this. He just keeps telling her lies as to why he is not ready, and she keeps hanging around waiting for when he does, and that's very sad, even for me, since she is a great girl and can do better and shouldn't be wasting her years like she is. But like I said to her, this is where you really have to evaluate your relationship and figure out if it really has commitment potential.

For other people, one person, usually the man, is more focused on the negatives than the positives and is afraid he might not be able to cope and thus things might not work out, leading to a break up and hurt. 

Like stated in previous posts, I believe honest communication solves it all. However, honest communication is something that is built over a period of time. Especially with women, its sometimes hard for a man to be totally honest just for the fear of how she might react or feel. Women are usually more difficult to take certain criticism than men which is sometimes a problem when honest communication is to be had. However, once you can build that in your relationship. Every problem can be solved with ease, respect and support.

Therefore if the fears the man or woman has, concerning commitment is unfounded, then reassure him or her. If you don't understand what they are saying, let them explain. There is, however, a way to do it without sounding "bitchy", angry or "naggy". Ask, listen and show EMPATHY towards his or her fears and concerns as to why he or she doesn't want to commit or take things further in your relationship. There is always a reason, a real reason. NO BS.

This post is not necessarily about when to get out of a relationship. I don't want any men out there blaming me for messing up their relationships J. I'm merely saying when you think your relationship has gotten to the point where you have to take things to the next level, that conversation has to be had. What I will say is this, if you are a woman who has stuck by a man for several years, you deserve that right to expect things to move further in your relationship. Like I said earlier, you cannot force a man to give you that respect right back, but you deserve it. If he doesn't want to, then its up to you to know what you are worth and do what you have to, the right way. 

About a week ago, while in the middle of writing this post, I met a beautiful Russian woman somewhere in south east Asia who had been travelling for years. She told me a sad story about how her and her boyfriend for 6 years had just broken up while they were both travelling. To keep a long story short, she was not getting any younger and wanted to take things further in their relationship, but he didn't want that so they broke it off. 6 YEARS down the drain ?? wait, SIXXX ?? That's not something you just throw away. This is what I told her, I might be right or wrong depending how you feel, but I said "After 6 years of being together with a man, you deserve to ask him that. You deserve to be shown that love. You deserve to require that from him, and not feel sorry it at all"............and I wasn't saying that to make her feel better, I actually meant it. I actually told her I was in the middle of writing this post and gave her the website to check it out when I was done. So "EL" if you are reading this, you somewhat made this post worthy of writing and sorry I couldn't say goodbye before I left.

Thanks for reading y'all..........ONE LOVE.

If you want to keep being happy with me, let commit to each other. if not, bags packed. Let me go find that somewhere else bcos this clearly ain't going nowhere.

Commitment is not exclusive, even though its men who USUALLY resist commitment, sometimes its the other around.

Hold on tight.

True that

Open up the conversation and speak on it honestly.

MAMMA beat my ass - PART 2

Wow, its being a while, hasn't it? Man, I wanted to bring y'all part 2 of this post long ago but I run into some serious complications which I’ll let you in on…in another post. So where were we ?? Oh yeah, we were talking about how mum used to whoop my butt right? Let me tell you guys another interesting one. Part 2: Mamma Beat my Ass.

So when I younger, I was giving a chore to do everyday. I had to make sure the living room was clean in the mornings. Some sweeping, cleaning, dusting tables…stuff like that. I usually skipped the sweeping part since one couldn't tell if the carpet was swept or not. I usually just arranged the chairs, dusted a few things and called it a day. This had gone on for a while until one morning, while in the shower, I heard “THE CALL”. It went like “Herr Mubarak”. When Mum said “Herr” right before your name, you knew your ass was in trouble.

I quickly wiped myself, and got out of the shower half wet with my towel around my waist. I responded “Yes Maa” with the shakiest voice you'll probably ever hear. Why was I scared ?? The worst thing in the world is to get beat up very early in the morning. It messes up your entire day, plus I had school that morning. What bad timing L

So I met her at the living room. She had figured out that I hadn't been doing my job properly. I was ready for some screaming and mean mugging but that didn't happen, hmmm. Why didn't she get too mad?? Well, she had to leave for work early and really didn't have time to do any spanking or waste time on my mischievous self. I thought I had escaped this one until she said the most upsetting thing I've ever heard. She said “GO TO SCHOOL, BUT I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR BEATING IN THE EVENING WHEN I COME BACK”. I know that doesn't sound upsetting but I promise you, you don’t want to be told that at 7 am in the morning. My little sister even gave me a little smirk like “Boy, you are lucky” and was surprised that I looked even more upset. So why was I unhappy? HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO THROUGH AN ENTIRE DAY SMOOTHLY WHILE THINKING ABOUT THE ASS WHOOPING PROMISED ME AT THE END OF THE DAY? L

Maaan my whole day was messed up, shaken, uncomfortable, discombobulated...all the adjectives you can find. Boy I was in class the whole time thinking about what 'form and shape' the whooping will come in; “is it going to be with a belt, or a cane, or her hand?”, “how long is it going to take?”, “is she going to throw something at me?”, “how is it going to start?”, “how bad is it going to hurt?”. All these were running through my mind the entire time I was in school and after. I was dozing off in class, was inattentive, answering questions wrongly etc. Generally, I was a mess that day.

Now school was over and it was time to go home. I had to decide on how I would go home. “Should I get home early and prepare for the worst or should I stay around and get home late ?”, I thought. I finally decided to get home early before Mum does and sleep or at least pretend to sleep.

Around 4 pm she returned. I heard her voice from a mile away. I still hadn't slept, how could I ? “I have to start a fake snore and pretend to be so asleep so I can pretend not to hear her”, I decided. A couple of minutes later, she was in the house and she still hadn't called my name. Finally I heard her footsteps like she was coming towards the room. She opened the door, came in, stayed for a while and still didn't call. I thought my plan had worked to perfection. “Wow she didn't notice I was faking it”, I figured. I was so proud of myself. Now it started to get uncomfortable. I had been fake-sleeping for hours now and she still hadn't called. I felt like getting up since I was tired of lying on the bed in the same position and fake snoring the entire time. Do you know how hard it is to fake a snore for hours ? Harder than it sounds. Eventually I couldn't take it any longer and I had to “wake up”. I went out of the room and met her at the kitchen. I greeted her with the most innocent tone ever and she replied “ARE YOU DONE FAKE-SLEEPING?” and started smiling. I have never looked so stupid in my entire life, except the day I got hit by a bicycle while carrying some water on my head (that's a story for later guys). Then she said “You pretended to sleep just because I said I was going to beat you right?”. Of course I denied it, but it was obvious that my plan wasn't as genius as I had thought. It was actually a dumb one. She told me it would have been smarter if I had come home and finish up the job rather than wasting hours on "sleeping".

Like it was all over and done with, she then told me to go finish the job. "Damn, I thought she was going to let it slide this time"...I imagined. After that day, I did my job properly. I didn't want to go through all that hassle over some simple sweeping. I swept the carpet twice, dusted twice, arranged the chairs twice…….did everything twice from that day onward. 

That was a lesson. Its never too late to correct what you missed. At least make the effort J.

SHOUTOUT TO MY MAMMA. Love ya J

Thanks for reading y’all……ONE LOVE

Mamma with Paps (left) and Uncle

Somewhere in the States, probably China Town!!

Lazy cleaning gets you in trouble like it got me in trouble 

That's how I was fake sleeping y'all. no no !!

This was part of my job, dusting glasses and tables and stuff :(

Yeah she does, all the whooping proves it. hehe

One that day, I was sleeping in class like this kid 

MAMMA beat my ass - PART 1

Growing up, Mum beat my ass a couple of times. Each time was a sad moment for me but I'm cracking up laughing as I write this post. Today, I rather tease her on the whooping she gave me. I always ask her "So Mum, remember when I did this and that and you beat me?" and all she says in return is "No I don't, but my beating have made you what you are today". To this day, she has never admitted to doing anything wrong in-terms of how she disciplined us, and we don't think she ever will. Indeed, her whooping did teach us lessons. Lessons we still remember. Lessons that have set us up the right way. So I guess she did do a great ass whooping job on us.

You can be guaranteed that the "My Mamma" topic will pop up when Africans meet, regardless of which countries we are from. This is one of the topics which we discuss the most among ourselves and we just laugh at each others pain. I have many beating stories so its only right that I share with you guys a couple of them. Alright, here we go !!

As a kid, about 5 years old, I loved powdered milk. There was a popular brand at the time called NIDO (picture attached below). I remember my Mum used to keep a few tins on the bottom shelf of the cabinet. I came back from school one day while she was at work, sneaked into the cabinet, opened the lid and ate up some of the powdered milk. Mum came home around 4pm, entered her room, and after a few minutes I heard her call my name the angry way "Herr Mubarak", that was my "about-to-get-a-beating" name. Anytime Mamma called a name and  said "Herr" before the name, you knew your butt was going to be set on fire. So the moment she called, my heart dropped. "How could she know", I thought. I wiped my lips clean, put on my innocent face and walked into her room. With the powdered milk in hand, she asked "Who came in here to eat powdered milk?", she asked. As stupid as I was, I denied it. I told her I had no idea. How dumb, There was no one else home except my little sister and I. She asked me again and I still denied. So she called my little sister into the room and asked her the same question. She told Mum she hadn't even been to her room. Fauzia, my little sister, had absolutely no idea what had went down so I believe Mum could easily tell the innocence on her face and immediately told her to leave us. I knew my butt was in a lot of trouble right there so I started psyching myself up for a whooping. What made it worse, she pulled out the lid, opened it and told me to come take a look. So I proceeded slowly knowing she could swing from anyway at anytime. I think I was more cautious with my steps than an 90 year old woman with bad feet. I got close enough and realized my finger prints were left all over the powder. All I could think was "DAMN, I messed up". At this point, there was no escaping the whooping so I just wanted to get it over with. Long story short, she beat my ass so badly and told me NEVER to "steal" or "lie" again. She warned me never to take anything without permission and if she wasn't home, should tell her when she came back. That was the lesson. Of course I didn't want that kind of beating ever again so I kept it in my best memory. I kept eating the powdered milk, but this time, I always met her at the door when she came home and reported myself immediately. 

Then it got to a point where she had to change the rules because my powdered-milk eating habit was getting out of hand. One afternoon, she calls me into her room again. This time she didn't whoop me but warned me never to eat up the powdered milk unless she had directly instructed me to. That was the start to the end of my powdered milk-eating habits, but at least until I was old enough to buy little portions on the streets with my lunch money.

I was about 5 years old at the time and after that, I never got into trouble for taking anything that didn't belong to me. As I got older, I gained her trust so much that even when she misplaced anything around the house, whether it was money, jewelry or clothes, she never asked me if I had it but would ask everybody else. She trusted that I wouldn't take it and if I did, she knew I would tell her. 

That's what a little discipline can do, OR perhaps I should say thats what a LITTLE ASS WHOOPING can do......It can indeed straighten you up

Part 2 on the way

Thanks for reading y'all.........ONE LOVE.

This is the lady I was talking about y'all. My sweet Mamma. LOVE HER TO DEATH !!

                   Mum with my nephew. He will learn soon. 

Mamma with lil nephew Payton

I am not saying treat your kids like slaves and prisoners, but you cannot spare them too much either. You will mess up your kids that way

No this is too extreme. This is child abuse right 

Your Mamma loves you regardless. Discipline is just tough love. Thats all it is. 

Chinese parents don't play.

This is child abuse. If you let a child bleed. Thats just going too far 

The old school way of spanking

This is what got me in trouble y'all. The powdered Milk: Nido

"BABY, YOU GETTING FAT ??"

"My girl is gaining weight but I don't know how to tell her"........This is probably one of the things that pop up the most anytime guys have "men conversation". Apparently, a lot of guys struggle with telling their ladies if they notice a few extra pounds on them.  Don't get me wrong, they are not punks, but merely scared of the repercussions that stem from saying that. Well, I guess that still makes them punks, doesn't it. Regardless, every guy has been at the receiving end of such anger, whether knowingly or otherwise. It was actually in college where I learnt my lesson from telling girls "hey, you getting big". I was actually oblivious to how they felt until, I remember vividly, my friend C-dor confronted me about it, saying it was offensive to girls when guys told them that. I still didn't take it that very seriously until Marian also warned me about it. I didn't understand why someone pointing out something like that to you should offend you, especially coming from a place of no malice nor harm, just love and care. But as a grew older, I realized women were super self-conscious, especially about their bodies.......so comments like that, even from a good heart, could be taken offensively, in one way or another.

On the contrary, guys aren't generally too self-conscious about their bodies....we don't really care if we are told we are getting fat, skinny, or muscular. We actually relish being told so we can work on it. Growing up, I believe everyone had that one extremely skinny dude in their school that EVERYBODY made fun of , OR that one big girl that NOBODY made fun of. So, now the question is "how do I tell my lady she is gaining extra weight?". She might be becoming less attractive to you or might be having some health issues or just getting sloppy and dull due to that. How do you go about telling her without hurting her feelings, lowering her self-esteem and making her frustrated at both herself and you?.

Any female you talk to will tell you "DO NOT TELL HER DIRECTLY". Rather, do things that might give her the idea that she has gained a few extra pounds. Here are a few tips I got from talking to people and surfing the internet about things you can do to let her know; (1) Buy her small clothes (2) Sign her up for gym or yoga classes (3) Serve her smaller portions of food (4) Leave around old photos of her. My opinion is: these tips are RIDICULOUS. These might work for a few people but I think they are pretty terrible ideas. Now lets dive into them. (1) Buy her small clothes ?? well, in a clothing store, there is something called a return policy. She can send it back if the dress doesn't fit. duh! (2) Sign her up for gym classes ?? When you come home one day with a gym membership card in your hand, the first question you will get asked is "thanks, but why did you sign me up for a gym class? ". Moreover, girls rarely go to the gym to do anything but lose weight. It's not like they are in there trying to bench-press 40 kilos of weight, so that's a pretty obvious move. (3) Serve her small portions of food ? This is a funny one. Does that mean you have to be present anytime she wants to eat something?, and not just that, you also have to be the one serving her the food?. Then I'll suggest you quit your job and let her hire you as her personal chef, that's the only way this will work. The last tip: (4) leave around her old photos. Really ?? So all of a sudden, your lady comes home one time and finds her old photos lying around the house, and you don't think she will ask you why you got her old pictures lying around ?

Personally, if you are really close to a person, I think you should just tell them straight up; "HEY LISTEN, YOU ARE GETTING FAT, LOSE SOME DAMN WEIGHT ELSE I'M DUMPING YOUR ASS". NOoo, that is exactly NOT what to say if you want to keep your relationship and avoid getting stabbed in your sleep. Just a nice, calm, sweet way, will be good enough. Every woman knows when she has gained a few extra pounds, so the last thing she wants is to be reminded or nagged about it every time. All you need to do is to support her through getting back in shape. So instead of signing her up for a gym section, perhaps you can sign both you and and her at the same time and perhaps look at it as a way to spend some more time together. That's believable, ain't it? I told y'all I was smart. 

My most important point though, is; people just don't enter relationships. There is always a stage where there is nothing but conversation where you guys get to know each other. Based on that, you decide you have things in common, share the same goals or like each other. So I believe that is where this whole conversation should start. At the start of any friendship, everyone gets asked questions like "what do you do on free time?", "what are some of the things you like doing?", "what kind of guys or girls do you like?"...etc. Usually people talk more to each other about different topics when they are friends than when they actually get together as partners. That's where you let the other know what kind of things you like, and what you will or will not settle for. So as soon as possible, find a way to slip in things that are very important to you, and if STAYING LEAN is one of them, then you've got to slip that in or bring up a topic that relates to that in your conversations. If she is the type of person who likes that, then that's great for you, if she doesn't, then she might let you know how she feels or might think about it. Either way, it wouldn't be too late. 

But that notwithstanding, if you are a man that looks like the male version of PRECIOUS, you have no business bringing up a topic about fitness and weight-loss. Maybe you could start a conversation about how you want to stop eating all those extra large cheese burgers that got you fat in the first place, but definitely not about wanting a girl who has a lean body. That will sound awful and disrespectful to any girl, and even worse, you will look like an idiot. The girl will just be thinking "WHAT ?? Don't no lean girl want your fat ass". So please refrain from that. The worst thing anyone can do is point fingers at someone while they themselves are guilty of the same thing they are complaining and nagging about. Got it ?? 

So that was my little advice about approaching this "getting fat" situation when you face it, I hope it made some sense. That's it for another post y'all.

Thank for reading...............DEUCESSSS  !!!

Well, that's when you know its starting to go left

Every woman knows if she is gaining weight, even before you notice.

This is what you get for being too direct....you get slapped. So be nice and polite 

Workout with her, hit the gym together....it would be a new way to spend more time together

If your lady is happy, you are happy. So keep her happy

That's cute, ain't it ?? Just a simple jog or walk together can solve the problem

SUPPORT HER

Never say stuff like this !! Its offensive believe it or not. Unfortunately most guys don't realize it. 

Never let it get too far, take measures as quickly as possible 

GYM TIME BABYY !!

If you look like the male version of "PRECIOUS", Don't go talking to girls about wanting a lean body girl, you will look stupid. For y'all who don't know, "Precious" is a wonderful move which stars "Gabourey Sidibe", who plays a girl named Precious, in the picture above. Had to make a point. I still love you Gabourey, No hard feelings.

PICKUP LINES: THE STORY

“Babe, I am not the most attractive guy here but I’m the only one talking to you”.  This was what my friend told this girl sitting at the bar. When I heard that, I moved about 10 feet away from him cos I knew he was gonna get slapped or get hit with a beer bottle. But No, she was nice enough to just ignore him. This brought back a lot of memories from back in the day, some pretty funny and some pretty sad ones. So this post is about pickup lines. Let's go!

I was in Junior High School when I wrote down my first pickup line. It was a line I had heard from the movie Juwanna man. “You are a tall glass of water and I’m thirsty”..that was the line. At the time, I thought it was pretty good so I wrote it down and shared with my boys and they all thought it was genius. Not just us, some girls actually did like it too. Sitting here writing this post after 10 years, I am laughing to myself thinking “damn that was a really dumb thing to say”.

Every guy has probably thought about using a pickup line, or has used a pickup line, or still use it. In my first year of college, my roommate used to memorize books full of pickup lines like he had to write exams on them. This dude would carry his pocket book everywhere he went, and actually say some of these lines to some random girls around the campus. One day, he came to the room looking all flustered, talking about "these lines don't seem to work man, why is that ?" I took a look at his little notebook and read some of these pickup lines he had on there. These are the few ones I still remember (1) “hi baby, are you wearing space pants, because your butt is out of this world” (2) “hi, you have nice legs, what time do they open ?” (3) “Do you have a name or can I call you "mine"?. After I read them, I then understood why his face got redder and redder each passing day. It was definitely from all the slaps that had being administered to him by these girls after he told them these things. 

As bad as some of these lines might sound, different girls react differently to different pickup lines. Some girls would agree that some awful pickup lines have actually worked on them. I guess this goes to show that romance is full of surprises. We have all wondered why a very pretty girl would date a guy that was "out of her league" and vice versa. So I guess romance is indeed full of surprises. That notwithstanding, lots of girls absolutely hate pickup lines saying it’s not authentic and its desperate.

The funniest thing however, is the response some girls give to these guys. True story; I am with my Nigerian friend Justin. Now Justin is one of those guys who wants to talk to any cute girl he meets. So we are walking around the neighborhood and we see this girl walking towards us. He goes to her and says “hello, haven’t I seen you someplace before?”, the girl replies “yeah you have, that’s why I don’t go there anymore”…and that was enough to end the conversation. Big cousin also told his sad story about using a pickup line. He approached a girl and said “hey girl, whats your sign”…I guess that was a popular line from back in the day....and with a mean face, the girl replied “Do not enter”. He turned slowly and walked away. Point is, some girls have heard these lines from several guys and have developed quite “hurtful” responses for them. So fellows, be creative with your lines if you insist on using them. 

Personally, I don’t like pickup lines and I  don't use them either. But they do actually work if it’s creative and most importantly, FUNNY. Don’t go saying dumb cliche things like “did it hurt from you fell from heaven” or “you must be a broom because you are sweeping me off my feet”. That might have worked from 1910 to 1915, but in this era, you will get drinks poured on your face for that. Personal advice ?? forget pickup lines and just be regular, if a girl isn't interested in talking to you when you say a simple “hi”, you can be damn sure she wouldn't talk to you when you say corny pickup lines either.

Thanks for reading y'all...............ONE LOVE

I am pretty sure this was exactly what happened to my friend. That's what u get for saying dumb pickup lines

Talk to the hand. Now that's a bad sign. I am pretty sure he said "how did it feel when u fell from heaven"

You could be good looking but saying the wrong things can get drinks poured on you. Now go wash that tight-ass T-shirt and try again. 

She's thinking "Yeah whatever...I have heard it over and over". Be creative y'all

Really, that was your best line? "come on baby me love u long time" ?? really? 

This is what NOT saying stupid pickup lines can get you. 

Pickup lines can work too, you just gotta be funny and creative. Might land you a friend 

Even the other guy is mad at that line. I am pretty sure he got slapped after a while.

This is pretty funny but girl wasn't feeling it. 

Dumb pickup lines do make you corny. Be yourself fellows. Just being cute isn't enough, at least that's what these ladies are saying.

IS HE TOOooo COMFORTABLE ??

For the last couple of days my internet connection hasn't been too nice. Probably because the guy I was "borrowing" from parted ways with his "charitable" side for a few days. Well I guess God touched his heart because I am back on the airwaves. So what is the conversation today? ...."NAME SOMETHING YOU WISH YOUR MAN WASN'T SO COMFORTABLE DOING AROUND YOU".  Quite interesting isn't it? This was what sparked everything:

Watching an episode of Family Feud hosted by one of my favorite comedians Steve Harvey, he asked the contestants (all women) this question, and pretty interesting answers popped up. Maybe a brief intro about the show would help. So Family Feud is basically a family show where two separate families go against each other in order to win an ultimate prize. Each family has 5 members representing them, so the question is passed from one member to another and if their answers match the answers on the board, they are awarded points. When they fail, the question is passed to the opposing family. So Steve asks this question to one family and these were the answers all five ladies came up with, which were all on the board. Mind you, the answers on the board are answers gathered from a survey of a 100 other random women. The answers were "BELCHING,  FARTING, PICKING HIS NOSE, ADJUSTING HIMSELF (scratching his privates) and the most interesting was WALKING IN THE BATHROOM AND TAKING A DUMP WHILE I'M IN THERE GETTING READY"........These were the things the 100+5 women hoped their men weren't so comfortable doing around them. I am guessing half of y'all reading this are going like "really, I don't care if my man does it" while the other half are going "you damn right, I hate that too" 

Everyone is different, some might not care and others might. Interestingly, about a year ago I had a similar conversation with my roommate at the time about sharing bathrooms with your partner. I didn't like the idea but he had absolutely no problem with it. I remember we had a heated argument about it, and he always thought it was strange that I felt that way. No wonder this dude never closed the bathroom door when he went in to handle his business. I remember I used to be in the living room doing my work and out of nowhere I heard sounds likes "ice chips was falling in water". That was him peeing standing outside the bathroom door like we were in 6th grade all over again. Remember 6-8th grade when we used to compete over who had the longest pissing range, crazy right ? Anyway, back to topic. 

When I was little, I always had altercations with my sisters and my Mum when it came to similar issues. Growing up, I had a big dressing mirror up my wall so my sisters always liked to get dressed or change up in my room instead of theirs....that didn't bother me at all but this did; These girls never knocked, just popped in butt-ass naked not caring whether I was there or not just because I was little brother. That PISSED ME OFF. I hated seeing them like that, and those were my sisters. Kind of strange if you think about it. So after watching that episode and seeing a bunch of ladies complain about similar instances, boy was I relieved. At least I was not crazy. 

Personally, I just think people stop caring about these little things because they get too comfortable around each other. Imagine going out on a first date with a girl you just met and belching, picking your nose, picking your teeth, farting and scratching your "stuff" at the table, you can bet she will leave your nasty ass behind, walk away and never pick your calls or maybe go the extra mile to get a restraining order against you. With-that-being-said, being able to do certain things around your partner is great. That just shows that you are comfortable around each other. Awesome right ? Perhaps it will be, if it didn't offend them, I think that's most important. That notwithstanding, you cannot always control stuff like belching, farting and scratching/adjusting oneself.  For the fellows, sometimes we just gotta make sure our little friend down there is comfortable so there aren't any hard feelings between us, ya dig?  In that case, of course its cool. Its only a problem when it becomes a habit; like the husbands to these 100+5 Family Feud ladies.

Getting a little more curious about this, I thought; "let me google this topic and see what pops up", and like I'd expected, even more interesting things came up. On this one website, there was a poll that I came across and I thought it would be cool if shared with y'all. The question was: 

Do you fart/poop in front of your husband?

Yes, all the time. : (95 votes) 

23 %

Never. : (108 votes) 

26 %

I try not to, but don't really care if it happens. : (79 votes) 

19 %

I fart in front of him, but no pooping. : (130 votes) 

32 %

See the results above? pretty interesting right ? I guess only 23% out of a 100% women actually do it on purpose, the rest don't at all or it happens by accident. So I'm guessing if majority aren't doing none of these stuff around their men, then they expect the men to reciprocate that. Perhaps there should be a show on Family Feud also asking men "what they wish their ladies would stop doing in front of them"....that would be battle of the sexes, wouldn't it? 

Yep, thanks to Family Feud, I finally got to blog on this. I side with some of the stuff these ladies talked about just because I will like to keep things fresh between myself and my partner. Being comfortable is awesome but being over-comfortable might not always be great, especially when its done on purpose like some of my friends do.......sorry for putting you guys on blast man. At least I didn't mention your names.....Dee, Lee, Smizzle, Nkwanbos......(these are coded names by the way)...haha

So to you guys out there who just walk to the bathroom, raise the seat of the WC, pull your stuff down and start "dropping bombs" that wipe all the make-up off your ladies' faces, y'all should jump of a bridge and kill yourselves. OR you can just put a stop to it. I will choose the first option if I were you though. Lol

This was yet another controversial one. I hope u enjoyed it

Oh, ONE last little bit of laugh, I saw this article on the internet, pretty hilarious. Check it out:

Chanel Vargas Anderson

"I heard Ross fart in his sleep- after that I thought it was important to have " the talk" I told him I am ok with him farting because I would hate for him to get stomach cramps for trying to hold them in on my behalf. Something that had happened to me once on a date and I was in the worst pain all night long. I had wished someone had given permission to fart to alleviate the pain. :( Having said all this I regret ever giving Ross permission :) and everyone close to Ross knows why."

Thanks for reading y'all.......one love :)

Episode of Family Feud where this question was asked.

The host Steve Harvey with contestants from two different families

I wouldn't wanna be her. 

HAHA....Funny. Maybe it was really a frog in there. 

Him Getting too comfortable is "killing" her. 

Bathroom fights.....I bet she wants to smack the crap out of him. 

THIS WAS SILLY, I DECIDED TO ADD IT....I bet it felt like a terrorist attack on that train